Giving

I was reading a poem posted by Kristine titled "We Cannot Give What We do Not Have".
Fragments of it goes as such:

How can we give love when all that emanates within is hatred?
How can we expect care when all we know is to antagonize and criticize?
How can we give trust when all that we do is to doubt?
How can we give happiness when selfishness is all that we have in our hearts?
Give love and you will receive love.
Give hate and hatred is what you will reap.

Quite true. Alas, Wondering and expecting people to like us when we don't even want to smile, when we always talk bad about others or do not trust another.. is like throwing a stone into a basin full of water, expecting the water not to splash onto your face.

Having someone wonder where you are when you don’t come home at night is what I need...

What A Girl Thinks

When a GIRL is quiet
Millions of things are running in her mind

When a GIRL is not arguing
She is thinking deeply

When a GIRL look at u with eyes full of questions
She is wondering how long u'll be around

When a GIRL answer "im fine" after a few seconds of silence
She is actually not at all fine

When a GIRL stares at u
She is wondering why u are lying

When a GIRL lays on ur chest
She is wishing for u to be hers forever

When a GIRL calls u everyday
She is seeking for ur attention

When a GIRL sms's u everyday
She wants u reply atleast once

When a GIRL says i luv u
She means it

When a GIRL says she can't live without u
She has made up her mind that u are her future

When a GIRL says "i miss u"
No one in this world can miss u more than her

When a GIRL kisses ur cheeks
She has never felt so happy in her life

When a GIRL makes an effort to show her love
She's definitely ready to be a part of your
life..
possibly forever..

Alone By Herself

Dear Memoir,

Hoc die magnus mortuus est amor

I wait all these years to find someone who understands me..
I thought, someone who accepts me as I am..
Someone with a wizard's power to melt stone to sunlight..
Someone who can bring me happiness in spite of trials..
Someone who can face my dragons in the night..
Someone who can transform me into the soul I choose to be...
Just yesterday,
I found that 'Someone' is the face I see in the mirror: It's me and my homemade mask.
-Ricard David Bach-
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The Why

Why is it that when you say you don't want to think of something, the opposite happens? The more you you try to push the thought out of your head, the more you keep thinking of it? And the hard part is that : when you want to remember something, it just keep slipping out of your mind?

Why is it so hard to remember how to smile when you are hurting inside? Alas, easy for the tears to come out when you are trying your best to force it not to do just that..

Why is it that the mind keep remembering someone when you know that it's wrong?
Why is there no one to help you, when you needed help the most?

Why, why and why.. Why are there questions but no one to answer them?

Because..this is the way the story goes.. 

          Because..life will not ever let you go the easy way.
          Let's think of something else altogether. Think of..mmm...what was the question again?

*********************

Sigh..Some may say that I am odd..but it's when you really feel the most like crying, that moment would be the time that you try to make light of everything. You make jokes and laugh out loud..hoping that the tears won't fall and people won't notice how unhappy you are.

Making fun of the issue... so that no one see how much it's hurting inside.
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It's hard to think positively when all around you are closed door.

Do You Remember..

I was reading some old notes from a friend.
It was written in Malay and one of the things that was mentioned was how good it would be if we can recapture all the 'first time' moments in our lives.

I do not like to regret about the past, even if the end result is not what I hoped for. You see, even though there's no happy ending, there are some moments there that are worth a thousand bad/sad moments. In the end, without the past, there would be the same me that is sitting in front of her laptop now.

However, there are times when memories can bring back some of those feelings from the past. The first time..

"Do You Remember"

Do you remember when we first met? I sure do.
It was some time in early September
You were lazy about it, you made me wait around
I was so crazy about you that I didn't mind

I was late for class,
I locked my bike to yours
It wasn't hard to find ‒ you painted flowers on it
I guess I was afraid that if you rolled away
You might not roll back my direction real soon.

I was crazy about you then and now
The craziest thing of all,
Over ten years have gone by
And you're still mine,
We're locked in time
Let's rewind

Do you remember
When we first moved in together?
The piano took up the living room
You'd play me boogie woogie,
I played you love songs
You'd say we're playing house,
now you still say we are.

We built our get away up in a tree we found.
We felt so far away but we were still in town.
Now I remember watching that old tree burn down
I took a picture that I don't like to look at.

Well, all these times they come and go
And alone don't seem so long
Over ten years have gone by
We can't rewind,
Even though we're locked in time
But somehow you're still mine..

Do you remember?

A song to accompany you tonight..
Night night, n sleep tight.

Up On The Roof

When this old world starts a getting me down
And people are just too much for me to face
I’ll climb way up to the top of the stairs
And all my cares just drift right into space
On the roof, it’s peaceful as can be
And there the world below don’t bother me

So when I come home feeling tired and beat
I’ll go up where the air is fresh and sweet
I’ll get far away from the hustling crowd
And all the rat-race noise down in the street
On the roof, that’s the only place I know

And at night the stars they put on a show for free
And, darling, you can share it all with me
That’s what I said
Keep on telling you
That right smack dab in the middle of town
I found a paradise that’s troubleproof
And if this old world starts a getting you down
There’s room enough for two
Up on the roof...

* To be as near to the sky..

A Fresh Breeze of Air

This day and age we're living in
Gives cause for apprehension
With speed and new invention
And things like fourth dimension.
Yet we get a trifle weary
With Mr. Einstein's theory.
So we must get down to earth at times
Relax relieve the tension

And no matter what the progress
Or what may yet be proved
The simple facts of life are such
They cannot be removed

You must remember this
A kiss is just a kiss, a sigh is just a sigh.
The fundamental things apply
As time goes by.

And when two lovers woo
They still say, "I love you."
On that you can rely
No matter what the future brings
As time goes by.

Moonlight and love songs
Never out of date.
Hearts full of passion
Jealousy and hate.
Woman needs man
And man must have his mate
That no one can deny.

It's still the same old story
A fight for love and glory
A case of do or die.
The world will always welcome lovers
As time goes by.

Oh yes, the world will always welcome lovers
As time goes by.