Men vs Women

As oppose to what we think, it's easy to maintain a good and stable relationship.. provided that it's not with a man. :p With a man, well, it's a exactly the opposite as a man has different way of thinking when it comes to 'love' and 'relationship'. Different channels and different wavelength... which causes lots of heartache and miscommunication. Well, it cannot be help. Women are from the earth.. while men are..aliens :p lol.. Women love to analyze everything..while men just love to take things as simple as they are.

It takes some getting use to and maybe.. a common dictionary before you are able to communicate easily with each other. Below is an amusing story about relationships, which I would like to share with you. lol..enjoy it.


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Let's take an example. We will look at the case of subject A (which we will call 'Jack') and subject B (let's call her 'Jill'). Jack asked Jill out to watch a movie. Jill accepted and all went well. They had a good time.

A few days later, Jack asked Jill out again for a twosome dinner. It turns out to be a fine evening, each enjoying the other's company. Then they fixed another night out, and another, and another until they were seen as an 'item' or a 'couple'.

Then one night, Jill says to Jack: 'Did you notice that it has been 6 months that we went out together?'. And there was a long silence in the car.

Jill's thinking in her head:
'Sxxt. Maybe I should have not said that. Jack will feel trapped and thinks that I am trying to get him to commit himself to me.'

Jack thinks:
'Wow! 6 months already!'

Jill thinks:
'By the way, I have also not thought of turning this relationship into something serious yet. Will we marry? Have kids? Live together? I don't even know him that well!'

Jack thinks:
'This means that.. we have been going out..since..let's see.. February. Just after I sent my car to be serviced. Hmm.. let me see the mileage counter.. yes.. it's almost time to service it again.'

Jill thinks:
Jack has that worried look on his face. What if I am mistaken about the whole thing? Maybe he wants more from all this. To become more intimate and..an engagement! Maybe he saw a kind of reserve in me. Maybe he's afraid to be rejected. Yes. That must be it.

Jack thinks:
This time I will make sure they check the transmission. I don't care what those mechanics say. Fancy saying that there's nothing wrong. It's all because of the weather, they say. To think that I paid $ 300 to them the last time and it still feels like driving with a heavy load! Cheaters!'

Jill thinks:
He's angry. I understand. I would feel the same if I were in his shoes. It's my fault that he's all upset. But I can't do anything about it. I am not sure yet of my feelings.

Jack thinks:
Well, I am sure that those mechanics will say that I was driving in unsuitable weather! Those thieves!

Jill thinks:
Hmm.. Perhaps i am too strict with myself. Waiting for a knight in a shining armor.. even though I have now next to me a good man who is suffering just because of my childhood dream.

Jack thinks;
Well, I'll show them this time! I'll make sure that they fix everything the way I want!

Jill says aloud: Jack..
Jack : What?
Jill : I am so silly. I realized now that knights in shining armors do not exist. So does their horses.
Jack : Horses?
Jill : You must think that I am stupid, right?
Jack : Not at all. (Jack was happy that he's able to give a correct answer).
Jill : I just need some time..

There was a silence as Jack tries hard to think of a right answer.
Jack : Yes. (Hoping that this is what Jill wants to hear).
Jill : Oh Jack. You do understand. (Moved by Jack's reply, Jill holds Jack's hand)
Jack : Understand what?
Jill : About needing time..(Jill then looks directly into his eyes)
Jack : Of course..Of course I do. (Jack stuttered, getting nervous)
Jill : Thank you, Jack
Jack : You are welcome... (still unsure of what it's all about).

Jill went home, with millions of thoughts running in her head and cried herself to sleep. Jack went home, opened a packet of chips, sits in front of the tv, watching a tennis match. A voice was warning him that something had happened in the car.. but better not think about that.

The male brain is definitely made to analyze numbers and solve concrete problems. :) He cannot grasp something as abstract as love and need. While a woman is convinced that a man must have thought about where a relationship is going. Well, how could a man spend day after day and night after night going out with a woman and not think about it?

Conclusion: A man is not perceptive enough to know that they are in a love relationship with a woman. :p They are slow when it comes to matter of the hearts. So, in order to get the message across to them, you need to slowly and repeatedly put the idea subtly into his head. For example: 'Jack, we are in a love, please pass me the salt'. Or 'Jack, there's a cockroach in the room and you and me are in love'.
And you will see that one day, he will suddenly wake up and thought of it by himself..'Oh..Jill and me, we are in love..'
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Have not laugh this much for some time. Lovely story, indeed.

The Short N Long of It

Women and their hair.

Yup, the never ending story. :) I have always sported short hair during the school days (except when I finally became senior in form 5. It's not a question of choice at all but a matter of convenience. To whom? My mum of course.

For mum, short hair meant less time to get ready for school (no pig tails to be tied up, no ribbons of matching colors need to be prepared), a dab of oily hair cream and Cat is ready to go. Of course, there's the story of the hair lice too.

At first, Cat was happy also with the short hair cut. Cat used to have wavy, unruly, thick and stubborn hair. How Cat can never make it follow instructions: despite combing it regularly and thousands of times, one side would nicely curl to the inside, while the other side would refused and came out like a duck's tail.

So, it was with a glad heart, she let mum cut it in a boyish style. Short and simple. But when you go to high school, being practical doesn't make you famous. The boys would make fun and teased Cat about her short hair. Those with long hair were a favorite as it seems more feminine to the guys.

After school, Cat had tried all sorts of style: short, mid length and long. Long hair was actually demanded less fuss than short hair. If it's too warm, all Cat need to do is to just tie it all up at the back into a ponytail or a bun. Same as during a travel trip, all you need to do after a wash, is to brush your hair rapidly, give it a toss, and then tied it up loosely with a scarf or put on a nice hairband. (And you need not run to a hairdresser to get it trim each month). If it gets too cold, just let your hair down and it will keep your neck warm and cozy. :)

But as you get older, a short hair cut makes you look younger. :) How flattering it feels to be mistaken for the daughter of the house when you are actually the mistress of it.

All in all, there are times and seasons for hair length. Follows the mood also, for a woman, a drastic change either in the length or color would usually mark some sort of changes in her life.

Maybe it is easier to be a guy. But, it's certainly lots more fun being a girl. :p Hmm.. what if Cat color her hair all white? Then no more worries about white hair appearing.. hehehe..just kidding.

World Behind the Wall

It’s raining today

The blinds are shut

It’s always the same

I tried all the games

That they play

But they made me insane..

Life on tv

It’s random

It means nothing to me

I’m writing down

What I cannot see

Wanna wake up in a dream..

They’re telling me

Its beautiful

I believe them

But will I ever know

The world behind my wall

The sun will shine

Like never before

One day I will be

Ready to go

See the world behind my wall

Trains in the sky

Are traveling

Through fragments of time

They’re taking me to

Parts of my mind

That no one can find

I’m ready to fall

I’m ready to crawl

On my knees to know it all

I’m ready to heal

I’m ready to feel

One day I will be

Ready to go

See the world behind my wall

See the world behind my wall

See the world behind my wall

See the world behind my wall

**************************************
Sometimes a cat just cannot sit still. Some people say that the grass always look greener on the other side of the fence. Other places always sounds more pleasant and much more comfortable than where you are now. But..if we do not try, how do we know if it's true or not, kan?

Sometimes, people take refuge in dreams and refused to open their eyes..because dream world is much better than reality. But you do have to wake up one of these days, don't you? Hope that it won't be too late, and when you woke up..the world has not left you too far behind.

Come with Cat..let's look at the world behind this tall wall.

Signing off,
Cat

The Witch Hunt

Petra Witch Hunt lyrics
Words and music by Bob Hartman

Everybody look there's a new bandwagon in town
Hop on board and let the wind carry you around
Seems like there's not enough to keep us busy till the Lord comes back
Don Quixote's gotta have another windmill to attack

(Chorus)
Another witch hunt looking for evil wherever we can find it
Off on a tangent, hope the Lord won't mind it
Another witch hunt, takin' a break from all our labor
On a crusade but we forgot our saber
There's a new way to spend all our energies
We're up in arms instead of down on our knees
Walkin' over dollars trying to find another dime

Never mind the souls 'cause we really haven't got the time
So send out the dogs and tally ho
Before we sleep tonight we've got miles to go
No one is safe, no stone's left unturned
And we won't stop until somebody gets burned
Bro Bro Bro Bro Bro Bro Brothers

Hmm...the witch hunt is on at full force.
You do not have to have magic to get accused of being a witch. As long as you have made him angry at one time or another in the past, you will be the next head to be chopped off. That is what having power means: time to do a witch hunt. Who decides whether you are really guilty of being a witch? The person who has the power..

The reign of terror has begun. One down, 2 more heads to go...

Lie low..keep quiet. Pray that the black hooded people will not notice you. If your name is in the  black book, your days are numbered. I was tested today..and phew..guess it's not my time yet. A warning..don't cry or show how upset you are. Shh..walls have ears.. better have a back up plan. Dark skies ahead..

Money Sense

Have you ever thought of being your own boss, quitting your present job and coming out on your own? It does look attractive, doesn't it? Alas, as in most things in life, there's a price for everything. There are 4 things that you need to take into consideration before you hand in your resignation letter.

She has never thought of it before. Changing her job, yes..but not going out on her own. Some of her friends had had thoughts on this issue on more than one occasion. Somehow, the idea was often put aside because of factors like: marriage, commitments, house or car loans to pay. It would seem risky to go on your own.

There's a very good site that give advices on starting on your own, creating your own business by the AKPK (an agency created by Bank Negara Malaysia. This agency provide free services for individuals on financial education and debt management).

She would just like to share these ideas with you. If you are really determine to do it on your own, then you need to think about the 4 P's : Passion, Price, Plan or Principal Sum (Capital).

1) Passion: The journey will be much much easier if you are passionate about what you do. It means simply that you just can't wait to get out of bed in the morning and do what you love to do. Passion gives you that extra boost of energy when things get tough.

2) Price: How willing are you to pay the price? Some people wants to be their own boss but are not willing to put in the hours and sacrifices. When you are o on your own, you would need to work even harder in the early years to establish yourself. You might even have less time for your family than you imagined.

3) Plan: You need to have a good business plan and strategy. You should know for sure how you are going to make money and plan your business expenses clearly. When do you expect to break even and most importantly is to have a back up plan in case things doesn't work out as expected.

4) Principal Sum/Capital: Last but not least , your capital. Most start up businesses require quite a heavy capital, and you must be sure that you have sufficient funds to cover your fixed expenses for between 6-12 months. Then, you need to estimate the initial capital to open and get the business running.
Next, your business cash flow should, at least be able to pay for all the running costs like rental, salaries, utilities and pay the creditors promptly.
There are a few ways that you may be able to obtain funding: beg, borrow or smash your piggy bank. :)

The most important thing is to really do your homework first to see where you may obtain the best financing terms. There are also a number of incentives or soft loans offered by the government for certain types of businesses. Have a look at AKPK on facebook or get their edition of 'Money Sense' in all their offices nationwide.

A serious post from her on this early Tuesday morning. Before breakfast and before bath too. Thinking of something now, cat? Maybe, maybe not. Mid life crisis? (Laughing..hehehe) Maybe, maybe not... Something in the air? Maybe, maybe not..

Revenge of the Weak

Revenge is best served cold, isn't that what they all say? Maybe that's also why women are good at writing mystery books. :) They put the emotions in their writing. :p

Here's an example of a writing on revenge (with a few modifications here and there of course :p):

I am not a bad person.
But when someone throws your heart on the floor, smashes it into thousands of small pieces..after you have given them your heart, time and soul, how would you feel? What would you do?

I do wish that they would all fall off a cliff and disappear...so that I would not have to think about them anymore. Then I can move on. It;s not like I have suddenly lost my eyesight or was told that I only have 3 months to live. This is just a relationship, i keep telling myself.

Alas, my heart is telling me otherwise. It's not as simple as that. It's about hopes and dreams and self esteem. It's about a great change in life.

Of course I can go and see a shrink to get my head sorted out. But, deep inside, buried deep down, there;s a primeval part in me that just want to watch them beg, plead and suffer like what I had endured. Deep inside, there's a part of me that would quite like to have a bit of my own back.

Wicked thoughts. :) Hmm..sometimes , it's not the act of paying back that is satisfying. Just thinking of what you would do to the person, is enough. Well, you can't really hit a guy with your car, the law prohibits it. But you can imagine doing that..not once, not twice...but thousands of times if you want to.

Mind Your Language

Wish that someone would just keep his mouth shut.There is this one person here that just can't be happy unless he can provoke and get reaction from others. Yes..that's right. This guy is the most irritating person around the four walls of this building! He is unable to open his mouth without an 'F' word coming out.

Cat is irritated. Today is not a good day and this one person just need to have the public's eyes on him in order to live. But..why does he need to provoke others in this way? His every sentence would not be complete unless there's a 'Fxxk', Bxxxh, Bxxxxxd and every other rude, nasty words in all languages (yes.he knows all the equivalent in Tamil, Mandarin and Malay).
In the past, parents would wash their children' mouths with soap as a symbol of washing the dirty words from the child's lips. In Malay community, parents use the fear factor: use those words, you'll get your mouth scrub with 'chilli' (yup, those red, hot peppers). Cat's mom likes to use 'onions' instead. :) might be one of the reason that cat dislike onions!

Prude? Far from it. If someone once in a blue moon uttered one of those 'invalid' words for various reasons, it is acceptable. In extreme situations, any word can just jump out from your mouth before you could stop it. But to purposely do it, that is IRRITATING. And weirdly, he founds cat structured polite sentences as ANNOYING! Can you just imagine that?

Oo..and he had his fun when one day he heard cat said 'Shit'. "Oo..the cat does have temper..and does have one 'bad' vocabulary in her" said the evil he. Of course cat knows a lists of it, but knowing doesn't mean that you have to use it. If you are angry, just say that you are angry. Why use all those 'F' words? Would he like it if someone uses the 'B' word (the one that hinted you were born months earlier than expected before your mother gets a ring on her finger) on him? Food for thoughts, sir.. Food for thoughts.. If looks could kill, he would have thousands of daggers stuck at his back by now..

Signing off,
Cat
P/S: God, pardon cat for the above article and for hating that irritating person..
Count to 20, cat.. Count to 20.. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5....

Gallantry

Say the word gallantry and there will be raised eyebrows. Since ages ago where women have been fighting for equal rights, equal pay and equal opportunity as men, some men have come to believe that respecting a woman is manly.

Some women believed that accepting a kind gesture from a man is a sign of weakness on her part. Women have been trying to prove that they are as qualified as men to do any job. We learn how to drive, to pay bills, to work twice as hard as men. We show that we can do overtime, can take care of ourselves and fight for any cause. We travel near and far, wear pants, we carry our own bags, laptops and files on our own. We do not need men to make us feel inferior.

By saying this, women might have made a mistake. Chivalry is not an act of men to assert their superiority over women. Chivalry in it's purest form is actually an act of kindness and selflessness.

Chivalrous acts consist of little things in life. A form of formality and courtesy. For example, when a man offers you a seat in an LRT at a rush hour, just think of it as an act of kindness and thank him for it. Some women would rather stand (even though they are tired to the bone) as not to be considered as weak. And by staring at the guy as if he has committed a serious offense, you might prevent him from offering his seat to another woman who badly needed it the next time.

For me, it still touches the heart when someone does an act of gallantry such as opening a door for her, offering a seat, offering to carrying her things, all this without even being asked to .. It's a sign of courtesy, generosity and consideration. You won't hear me asking a guy to do it..but when someone does it, I really like and appreciate it. It lightens the heart and brings a smile..to know that there are still people with enough kindness and courtesy in their heart. A heavy box is a heavy box.. and I would thank anyone who would help carry it without ever being asked.


P/S: It's 1000 times better to be presented with an act of chivalry than facing an act of rudeness. Isn't there already enough violence and abusive acts nowadays that a woman needs to face (until the mind become sore and numb) daily? An act of kindness at the end of the day would be a perfect ending to a tiring day..

Bearish Wish

Love at first sight.. :)
Actually it doesn't only happen between human beings. Sometimes, it's with things.
Imagine, one day, as you were peacefully walking around, window shopping, thinking of nothing. It was just a normal window shopping trip. Then, suddenly as you pass by a gift shop, something catches your eye. 

You stop right on your tracks, everything and everyone around you suddenly disappears. You retrace back your steps, blink the eyes 2 times and voila! your heart suddenly skip a beat. There, right in the middle of the store, on top of the highest shelf, sits the biggest, fluffiest and softest teddy bear you have ever seen. 

As if effected by some sort of magnetic force, and by it's own will, your feet starts walking towards it. You stand on your toes and your right hand moves slowly reaching out to touch it's foot. (Of course you can't hug the teddy, it's sitting at the highest shelf which is 1.6m high, whereas the petite you are only 1.49m high. Cruel reality!) Imagine, a bear as tall as yourself! C'est fait! You are taken for life. Be Mine! Be Mine!

Looking at the price tag. Ouch..reality bites. You should know that by now. The yummiest, cutest, most adorable bear can only be as expensive as it should be. Not that it's un affordable, it's just that..well..it would take a big bite of your expense for the month. The heart wants it sooo much, but the mind rationalizes. There's the money to pay for this, for that, for buying books, for petrol.. The right hand slowly moves back down. How Cat would just want to hug that bear...really, really hug it.. for one long time. :)

Goodbye, dear bear. Please sit there quietly and do not make yourself too noticeable. Cat is going to take you home soon.  

Yours
Cat

Tag : Smells

Dear Diary, 

Quizzes and tags are Cat's favorite to pass the time. Here goes another tag (and which Cat will not tag anyone else.. :) rest assured. Anyone wants to do and post the tag in their blog, are welcome to it. :) There, that settles the issue.)

A list of 10 smells that Cat loves:

1) washed clothes. :) Fresh from the washing machine, there's that smell of soap.
2) chocolate cake baking in the oven.. mmm.. :)
3) famous amos cookies at the Famous Amos stalls. :)
4) milo.. :)
5) the earth after rain
6) apple blossom
7) baby's products: baby powder, baby shampoo, baby bath..and especially if it's strawberry.
8) lily flower
9) dettol.. :)
10) someone

Funny that just the thoughts of all the above brings a smile to the lips. Sentimental? Nah.. just getting older. :)

Goodnight and sweet dreams..
Cat
-12102012-

Of Hotel and Cat..

Being a hotelier, cat has tried out many hotels, motels and resorts. As the years passed by, most of the hotel rooms looks the same (with only the color of the bedsheets, bedspread, curtains or wallpapers to differentiate them). Once or twice, if you are lucky, you will get to see something different that will make an impression on your mind.

Being hoteliers ourselves, most people would expect us to be kind of heart and tolerance towards our fellow colleagues in other hotels (as we are working in the same line and been standing in their shoes too). But the opposite would be more truthful. Every hotel had their share of what we call 'fussy' or 'HWC' (Handle With Care) guests but we are certainly our own worst nightmare!

When you see that there are hoteliers (especially those that has the operation background) expected to check in on that day, the reception staff would give a groan. Extra care is given to the choice of room & view. Cat, ashamed to admit it, is no exception to this. It must have been the way we were taught or 'brainwashed' during the earlier student and training days. (Sorry, prof.. :) A case of Dr Jeckyl turning into Mr Hyde once you stand at the opposite side of the counter. Only the level of fussiness would be either low or high depending on the individual.

Cat would be more on the mild side. Cat can overlook any maintenance problem (toilet flushing, light bulb fused, the ice cube compartment in the minibar was not defrost) but cat would however place a high level of expectation on the service (be it restaurant or rooms). That is the base of all hotel management studies. There are things you can control and things that you can't. Not greeting a guest or ignoring a guest who's standing in front of the counter is a big 'NO'. Slowness in action added with no apology is "Unpardonable'. You know, the invoice is saying that the room payment is inclusive of 'service charge', and that means guests are paying for the service.

If the attitude is still bad after a second hint from cat, you can be sure that there will be a complaint made to the manager. All staffs are expected to be given a full training before they are allowed to stand at the reception. If not, a higher authority must be at the staff's side before he/she can be given the 'approved' sign.

However, if the service is good, we would certainly not be stingy with complements and we would put a small note in our head to remind ourselves to offer the staff a job when we have a vacancy. See, we are not all that bad either. :)

Some of us will test the bed first when they checked in. Others would check the size of the room or the air conditioner. Cat's fetish would be the bathroom : the Bathtub actually. The sign of a tub and a complete bathroom amenities would be the thing to put a smile on cat's face. After a hard day of training or a whole day in the coach, a long soak in the bathtub would be bliss. Being a small cat, all bathtub sizes are acceptable. :p Ooo..and that certainly makes cat utter her thanks to God for not listening to her wishful thoughts of hoping to be taller and bigger. Soaking in the tub, smiling and feeling grateful.

Signing off,
Sleepy but Smiling Cat

Un-Lucky Winner

Cat is tired.

Mom : Sorry Cat. Could you come home now?
Cat : What's up, mom? Are you ill?
Mom : No..but I have good news!
Cat : I'm in the midst of doing the budget. Can you tell me first what is the news?
Mom : Well, I got this SMS from Celcom, saying that I have won RM 30,000! Imagine that.
Cat : What did this sms said?
Mom : 'Congratulations! Your phone number has been selected as one of Celcom's Lucky Prize customer of the month. Please go to the nearest CIMB Bank and input your account number with the below special 4 digit password to obtain the RM 30,000 prize'!
Cat : What number is on the sms? Is it an office number or a handphone number?
Mom : It's a handphone number. And I've called there cat. Someone picked it up and said that I need to follow the instruction in half an hour's time or the prize will be given to someone else! I can't wait, cat!
Cat : Hmm...Is there something else, mom, that you have not tell cat?
Mom : Well, actually, he ask me to it in 15 minutes. But I managed to plead and get him to give me 30 minutes as we don't have any ATM machines nearby in this area.
Cat : Mom, let me have the telephone number please.
Mom : Well, you can't call him cat. He said that only call from my handphone number will be accepted. And I am to call him when I am at the ATM machine.

Cat is biting her lips and closing her eyes.

Cat : Mom, it's a scam. One of those get rich fraud thing. No one would give you RM 30,000 just like that and then ask you to go to the ATM machine. Once you gave him your Bank account details, blink..all your savings will disappear.
Mom : But..what if it's a genuine thing cat? RM 30,000 is a lot, you know.
Cat : Mom, if Celcom is really going to give you something, it will be done in a professional way. Calls, letters, press. Cheque and not bank in thing like this. They won't ask for your account number. Don't move ok. Cat will try to get back as soon as possible. Just don't move.

Ooo..cat just can't believe that mom would fall for that trick..and she reads the newspaper everyday. Guess, sometimes people would say, all this happens to everyone else except me. But when it is about yourself, you tend to lose the focus and forget what happened to others.

Rushing back as cat just can't trust that mom will sit still when she gets an idea in her head. Hope that she'll listen to cat.

Signing off,
Cat

Uncomprehensive Things

'Your eyes will always see through me, And bring me to my knees...'

Boss is driving cat up the walls. Redo reports, more meetings and doing stuffs that even his secretary can do. Why? Just because cat does not agree on certain issue. Total loyalty? Depends.. cat would need to be convinced before cat can do that.

What evil thoughts lurking behind those spectacles? Punishment, of course, coated with an icing of sugary words. Cat looked back at boss and slowly answered without changing the expression. "Ok, I'll stand at the counter the whole day". Afterwards, cat is as usual: serious, smiling, talking with the others. Eyes were watching cat..you won't catch cat grumbling or being angry because of that. It's not a case of being hypocrite but a need to show boss that cat will not break under any pressure. Cats can be stubborn creatures at times.

Then, a message came from a dear friend. Laughing, cat was telling about today's event. Two words.. and only 2 words.. "Poor Cat.." and all the hidden emotions came to the surface. This is why Cat is turning away and keeping quiet because in close friends lies cat's weakness. When you are hurt, it's better to be among those who doesn't know you well enough. Then, you can keep your hold on your emotions. Tears are not certainly not meant for the public.

Let cat keeps her distance until she's got it all out from her system. Don't be too nice to cat, it will only make her weak. If you still want to do it, then don't do it from far away. Do it when you are beside cat.. :) then cat can have your shoulders to cry on.

Signing off,
Cat

“God, please grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change... and the courage to change the things that I can. Thus, grant me also the wisdom to know the difference between the two..."

Silent Nights

A guy was having a great time with his partner, suddenly a touchy topic comes up. All of a sudden the girl's mood changed. He asked her what is wrong, and she says 'Nothing'. You know that when a girl says 'Nothing' , it usually means that the thing is a 'Something'.

What did the guy do then? He put his arm around the girl and say: 'Come on. I know that something is bothering you'. But the girl remain stone silence. Next thing you know, she took her pillow and walk out from the room. He just watched her go as he is a bit irritated now. He thinks that she is behaving in a childish manner and doesn't like it.

A research shows that 29% of husbands and 21% of wives reported no conflicts at all during the first year of their marriage. But 16 years later 46% of the couples had divorced. It seems that wives use a lot of the silent in the first year but then began to mellow in later years. It maybe because when women are married longer, staying together and the relationship becomes more important to them.

However, the men remains constant. They did not seem to be improving nor getting worse. Maybe men feel they do not know what works with women. So when the women are silent, the men just let them be.

Maybe sometimes, we just need to be direct with each other. Sit down and tell your man why and what made you feel hurt. Most arguments are silly. The more you can let go of small issues, the better. Need to work things out so that no one would feel that they have to become silent.

Do not be afraid to upset your partner. You know that you cannot be close to someone with whom you are afraid to discuss feelings.

Upgraded Version

Cat has always been a lover of books especially novels. Cat can finish reading a good novel in maximum 2 days of continuous reading. People eat food to live, cat absorbs books (you could always see cat anywhere with her nose in a book). Cat can tell you what a book is about from A-Z just by looking at the title.

All these activities came to a stop last 2 years when cat had some problems which change cat's whole outlook on life and faith. The novels were left aside. They provided good reading but it's certainly not real life. Cat was lost and just doesn't have any clue in solving the problems. Just hoping like in the story books, that things would pass and someone would help cat find the answer.

The encounter with serious materials/books came at this time. Unable to sleep, cat was searching for 'boring' textbook like materials to read to help getting sleepy. But instead of that, cat found the book interesting. It was an autobiography. Another person's real life story. That opened cat's eyes to try to find similar books. Then cat started a second, a third and a fourth book. One thing leads to another. Then cat found motivational articles and s friend gave cat her first 'Chicken Soup for the Soul'. One thing leads to another.

And each time, cat saw a pattern. These people whose life stories were recorded in the books have all tasted hardship and also success. The rich and famous. But then, at the peak of their lives, they were tested again. And this is where you could see there are 2 groups of people. One group chose to give up, self destroy all their achievements by taking drugs and alcohol. The Lost Souls.
The other group has taken a different path: to face whatever demons and struggles to survive and get out of whatever mess they are in. If there is no ready made door, they will find a window. Giving up is not in their dictionary. These are the very ones that found happiness. The optimists.

You can come from a rich or poor background. The past are events that are out of your control. You can't change whatever has happened. It's how you live your own life now that matters. Your self esteem, knowing your own worth and strength helps. Back to the basics. Start with your own self. You can never make someone else happy unless you are happy yourself. How to do that and what formula to use? There's no one specific way to it. As cat now learns.. each person has to find his or her own approach in understanding life. Some people can find the answer just by a click of the finger but some needs to experience things first hand before they understands. Formula A might work for A but it might not work on B. People can only guide you, but you need to find the answer yourself.

Nowadays, cat is reading books on religion, biographies and motivations. Sometimes it even took weeks to finish one single book. (smile). Keep stopping to think and absorb the ideas after each chapter. And of course , hehehe..finding someone to bug if cat finds the chapter hard to understand. Cat still read novels from time to time for leisure. You can never forget your first love (smile)

Cat weird? Nah..not at all. Just a bit different..and accepting it. :) It's not against the law to be different, isn't it ? (smile). Cat, in another way, is still the same cat: a bit childish and playful at times and with close friends, enjoys teasing people and being teased, laughing at jokes, open mouthed watching a magician performs his magic tricks, enjoys watching cartoons, loves people with a sense of humor and shed some tears watching a sad movie. Same cat but on upgraded and stronger version.

Signing off,
Cat V5 (18.1.10)

Calm Before the Storm

It has been a rather busy week. Cat was just going to sit down and breathe a fresh load of air, thankful that boss has not bugged cat the whole duration of the event. Then suddenly cat's boss came into the office.
Sigh..too good to be true. Might be that cat's focus on the "Law of Attraction" was too strong? Just a fleeting thought of him. Speaking of the devil..(pardon the pun) and voila..here he is.

"Cat, I'm going to move you to the office on the 3rd floor." said he.
"Oo.." said cat trying to stall for time.
"You are too isolated down here on your own. It will be good to have you at the same floor as the rest of the team so that you will be aware of all the changes & movements. This will also facilitate me to groom you to be my Assistant when the time comes. What do you say, cat?" continued boss, brimming with the 'good news'.
"When do you want me to move, boss?"said cat slowly.
"By end of this week. Your new office will be ready by then and it will be just opposite mine".

What can Cat say. Boss's words are an order, not really a suggestion. Deep breath..and count to 10. In a positive way..it's true what he said about being on track with all the movements upstairs. However, this will also mean..taking over some more of the other duties and attending more meetings plus Cat's own workload. It will mean staying more hours at the office and lesser time..

Let's put that thoughts away for the moment. No good worrying in advance on something that has not happened yet, kan. Still got a few more days. :) This is only to let you know that if cat is keeping silence these days, this would be the reason why. You might be busy too as the end of the year approaches. Who knows..maybe, you might not even notice that Cat has not logged in, might not even miss Cat.. (smile)Take good care of yourself..

Now, where is that list? Need to focus on clearing things, documents, files and getting cat's self ready for the changes. Anyone with big boxes and an extra pair of hands to lend to cat? :)

Signing off,
Cat
Listening to "Us against the World" -Westlife-

Poison Pen Letters

Poison lettter, (in Malay, this is what we call 'surat layang'), is as nasty as it sounds.   Letters sent out by anonymous people with the intention to upset, produce anger and sometimes fear also to the person who receive it.

To what purpose? God knows.. but bad intentions surely. Even now, there are still enough poison letters going around..(maybe..not so much as by paper..but also through sms and through the e-mail.

A friend recently showed Cat a poison pen letter that she received. It was short and barely a page long. It was rather the content of the letter that upsets her as it was a highly critical accusation against her. The sender was implying that Cat's friend is  being 'over friendly' with boss in order to get her recent promotion. What nonsense. Everyone knows how hard she  worked for it. And worse of all, the sender is certainly a coward in refusing to reveal his or her identity.

Some people would say that it's only words. However..it does matter if the accusation is untrue, it's what people believes. Of course, having someone tell you off in front of your face is not very pleasant either..but at least you do have an opportunity to defend yourself. It's the same thing as when someone said bad things or put a series of accusations on the comment at your blog and then goes to hide behind the name of 'Anonymous'. You don't have a name or a face to ask for further clarification. Gossips..do travel faster than Air Asia.

Some people would advise just to ignore the poison letter. Treat it as rubbish. But it is hard to do that at times. To the person, Cat would just like to recite a proverb : Some things that are fun to you, might be death to others. These are the stuff that contributed to broken marriages, friends turning into foes and careers hurt just because of a person's feelings of resentful, envy or discontent was voiced out by the wrong channel. Hmm.. sometimes it just baffles Cat.. what does a person really gets from all these?

Cat's teacher used to say that be careful of your words and what you write. Words are like prayers. Each words that you utter (be it good or bad) has an impact in deciding the success or failure for someone. And everything is like a ripple on the water when you throw a stone in it. The ripple becomes bigger and it might even reach you back. What goes around comes around.

Good night..sleep peacefully and hopefully your conscience will stay clear..

Procrastination

What is 'procrastination'? No, it's not a bad word (grin) ..only a long one to write and a mouthful to say it out loud. To 'procrastinate' means to delay doing something. Procrastinators have a problem in having things done on time. Cat just knew the word today and the best way to remember something like that word is to use it the first chance you get. Voila :p

The problem isn't so bad when it's your own time that you are delaying. It becomes irritating when it's someone else's time that you are wasting. Have you thought about it? If you like doing that, the person that you are going to hurt the most will be yourself. The more you let that pile of file stacked on your desk.. the harder it will be to clear all those stuffs. It just hurts cat eyes to see the files not even been read yet and it hurts cat's ears to hear you requesting to 'just have one more day to get it done'. How can you work when your fingers are stuck at that handphone of yours, girl?

Time is a very important thing, as you cannot get back the time that you have lost. Alas, most of us prefer to play with it, waste it and kill it.

The key is not to prioritize what's on your schedule BUT to schedule yourself according to your priorities. Well, you should know what is important and you should be making time to deal with it. You need to put meaning in what you do everyday so that you will be motivated to put your best effort in it.

If what you are doing doesn't have any meaning to you, then why do it at all?

Okay.. now that we have concluded on this, can Cat have that file on her desk at exactly 3.00pm today? If all those sms have more meaning than the pending work, then by all means, collect your last salary and use the  the day after tomorrow, and after tomorrow, after tomorrow on sms-ing .

Hmm..6 out of the 9 working hours spent on 'sms'? Can I work for you instead? :)

No, Cat is not angry..:) just explaining the meaning of 'procrastination' for you. And another good word that you need to learn after this would be 'resignation' perhaps?

Signing off ,
Cat..counting 1, 2, 3 till 100...
Patience: It's the art of waiting for the right moment (and until patience runs out) before delivering the final bomb...

Talking Codes

It has been some time that cat has not written anything here.
Has been doing some thinking, some reading, some learning, some talking, some walking and lots of sums. :p Learning more about the internet, programming and blogging.

Conclusion? It's not that easy. It's much more faster to write an article than trying to know the programming for color codes, making a photo larger or smaller, and doing the roller post. What is cat talking about? It's the back engine thing..widgets, design.. and codes.

Some would ask cat: why waste time trying to learn all that? As long as cat can write and put pictures on her posting, it would be enough. It's the nature of cats. Curious animals. When cat is unable to sleep (yes...the insomniac thing has return), cat loves to go blog walking and google anything that comes to mind. And during the finger tapping activities, cat couldn't help seeing interesting widgets at friend's blog. And cat being cat, she just ask questions straight on. And afterwards, when her student... :p and friend is online, she will ask Student how to do it.

Cat believes that there's no harm done in knowing new things. Who knows..if one day (God forbid it!) cat is out of her current job, at least she can survive in this technology savvy world. But..to tell you the truth, all these code things just drives cat over the wall. :( It's not easy especially when you do not have any IT background).

Mostly, what cat managed to learn is due to a friend, who has the patience of a saint, to teach cat slowly step by step till cat can do it on her own. There is one or two widget programs that cat has abandoned due to her small head almost exploded with overloading of codes. And Friend was kind enough to send cat the whole written program for cat to try on her own.

Cat just do not know how he can absorb all those numbers and stuffs. :) Cat guess that God must have created friend with a bit more codes and widgets than any of us. In return, Cat is teaching friend to be less serious.. and to appreciate the simple things in life other than numbers.. :p

Lastly, just an exercise to refresh the mind.. :p

01010100 01110001, 01100110 01100110 01110010 01100101 01110110 01100101 01110010 01111001 01110100 01101000 01101000 01101110 01100111... :)

Signing off,
01000011 01100001 01110100 :p (laughing)
\:)

An Internal GPS

Cat has been looking up at the night sky almost every night. Even when it rains, clouds adding the darkness to the landscape, Cat would still take time to at least steal a glance upwards. Sometimes you see things better with the heart, and not with the eyes.

There are times when Cat feels like an alien. Not 'aliens' as what some people like to put names on others. But..'aliens' as in 'Terminator' or 'Aliens' or 'ET' (extra terrestrial beings).

Seriously, there are times when all that Cat does, is misunderstood by others.What is logic to Cat, seems illogical to others. Weird? Cat doesn't think so. She has tried to change her ways but, it's just that when series of unpredictable events happened at the last moment ( there's a lot of them too), the way Cat took action is regarded as non conformist. Rebel? No, not at all. When things needed to be done, Cat just went and do it, not thinking of what effect it would have on those that are close to her. 

Wise men say, only fools rush in. And that would define Cat.

Maybe that is why if you look at Superman and Batman , you would see why they end up being lonely. Taking in the fact that Cat is no hero, it hurts more when the explanations were treated as odd, childish, and not what a normal responsible adult on earth would do. To avoid more misunderstanding and arguments, you would just keep it all to yourself and just apologize.  

But, it does make life lonely when you cannot share things with those closest to you. You cannot show your real self but be what is expected of you. Acting your age and doing what is expected.

Cat was wondering...if there are other beings on the planets above, would there be an alien who feels the same as Cat? Feeling out of place? Would it be that we were mistakenly placed at the wrong moment and at the wrong universe? Can we exchange places again..? As now, it's either Cat hurts someone else feelings or she hurts her own by trying to please others.

Well, Ms Alien, do send Cat a UFO or..at least an internal GPS to implant in her head so that she can think and act like the others? Wishful thinking, Cat. Joining the United Nations would be a better and closer to home,wouldn't it?

P/S : Sorry if Cat makes everyone upset and worry about Cat. It was certainly not done with intention. Just Cat and her odd ways. Would staying away.. makes it easier? Hmm...