Life Lessons 1

They say that it's difficult to understand women. :P But it does seems as if someone has taken the time to study us.. and came out with this guidelines of how to read between the lines.
Cat would say that it's a good one. :p Enjoy the reading :

WHAT IT REALLY MEANS WHEN A WOMAN SAYS THIS WORD :

a) Fine.
This is the word women use to end an argument..when they think they are right and you need to shut up. Hint : Please do shut up.

b) Five Minutes.
Never, never believe this. If a woman is getting dressed, this means a half an hour.
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five minutes to watch the games before she needs you to help her do something. There's no such this as synchronising the watches.

c) Nothing.
This is the calm before the storm. This means SOMETHING is about to happen and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'nothing' usually ends in 'fine'.

d)Go ahead.
This is a dare, not permission. Whatever you want to do, just Don't do it.

e) Loud sigh.
This is actually a word, but it is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men.
A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her times standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing)

f) That's okay.
This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

g) Thanks.
A woman is thanking you, please do not question, or faint.
Just say 'you are welcome'.
( I want to add in clause here - This is true unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you are welcome' - that will bring on 'whatever')

h) Whatever.
This is a woman's way of saying 'F--- YOU'

i) Don't worry about it/ I got it.
Another dangerous statement, happens when a woman has told a man to do something for several times, but is now doing it herself. Sarcasm.
This will later result in a man asking 'what's wrong?' And for the woman's response, please refer to #3

Whatever-lah :p

Uncertainties

In love and life, there are always instances where you get stumped. No idea at all what you have done wrong to upset him/her. One minute both of you were joking,laughing, and suddenly everything just...went topsy turvy. What had just happened?

Cracking the head. To not know..to not really know what has triggered the change. To have absolutely no idea. But deep in your heart, something tells you that it has to do with you. How your head feels like exploding. You even feel like sitting down and cry..

You thought that if only you had some kind of a clue, some kind of six sense..then perhaps it would not be so painful.
*****

Take a deep breath. The thing is, it's all part of life's lessons.
There's no couple that has not travelled that path. It's part of learning..and knowing whether you got what it takes to make it works.

Furthermore, if you could see and understand all of her/his feelings, you might lose the desire to know more about them.

I wonder what he / she likes?
I wonder what he / she thinks?
Does she like this? Does he hates this?

A period of getting to know each other. And it's because you don't know that you tried so hard to understand. And that's what also makes you think more and more of her. You ask around, you listen when she talks, you share things with each other..seeing eye to eye.

All those things that you do and feel..means that you do care about them.
Take a deep breath.. you'll be ok.

Take My Hand

I am not very good at this game called Life,
For I've not learned to see children crying without feeling pain,
For I've not learned to watch animals being destroyed without wondering why.
For I've not yet met a king or celebrity that I would bow down to,
Or a man so insignificant that I would use for a stepping-stone.

For I've not yet learned to be a "yes man"
to narrow minded bosses who quote rules without reason,
and I've not learned to manipulate the feelings of others
to be used for my own advantages,
then cast aside as I see fit.

No, I am not very good at this game called Life..
I have been thinking quite a lot lately. Wondering how different each day can be.
There are days when you just laugh without a single care..and there are days when you just feel like sitting down and cry your eyes out. Silly isn't it..

There are time when things that come out from my mouth only serves to upset people. I do not really understand it. I may know lots of things (you could say that)..but I cannot seem to get it right when it comes to the human heart.

Please let me know..why you were upset earlier. I will try my best to understand.
Rather than being mad at me and saying that it is useless to tell me.. you being fed up with me is more sad.

Even if I am slow to understand, I wish that you would not give up on me.

An Ode to Pain

If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain
If I can ease one life of aching, Or cool one pain
Or help one fainting robin, Unto his nest again
I shall not live in vain
-Emily Dickinson 1830/1886-

If in front of your eyes, you found yourself with a bunch of choices, how do you pick the one choice that does not leave you with any regrets?

Sometimes, you try your best and crack your head thinking about it.
But, even if you think really hard and very carefully and decided on a choice, would there be a moment that you might look back and think that you made the wrong choice..?
If you were the only one affected by the choice, it might be ok. Alas, if it greatly affects others, then..how do you choose?
*****

For me, you will die before you managed to figure out if the choices you made were mistakes or not. Regardless of the choice that they made, there are some who will regret and there are others who do not.

It would be better to make your own choices as it helps too avoid blaming others on how things turn out to be. Good or bad, there is no use to think so much of something that you cannot change. Well, I guess everyone knows this already. :) And here I am trying to summarize the simple lessons of life..

A habit that dies hard..thinking out loud and writing it down..
Well past midnight. Goodnight and..leave the worries of today behind you. Tomorrow is another day.

Without A Reason

For everything, there is a season,
And a time for every matter under heaven:

A time to be born, and a time to die;
A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together..
*********
You met a girl and you wanted to go out on a date with her. The person may be incredibly good looking, nice laughter, have an interesting personality.. all that you have ever wanted.
Everything is working out as you wanted but you cannot fight the gut feeling that something is not right. Something is telling you that she is not for you. That you would better turn around and make an exit. Once in a while, you will get that tingling feeling in your bones.

That is what we call 'intuition'. Whether it is about changing jobs, locations or matters of the heart, it works just the same. You know when you know. And you decide whether to follow that intuition or to go against it.

Stuart Mullins who has worked with Corporate,Hospitality and Leisure/Theme Park Industries around the world has a very interesting story on this :

A very talented well respected General Manager from one of the major 5 star brands was approached by the owners to come back to manage a previous 5 star world class property he was GM at .Since he left, it had gone down hill a tad. The owners threw money at him and offered excellent benefits and conditions. They really went out of their way to woo him back.

Many of his colleagues told him it's a great position, wonderful hotel, great location, well respected owners and the money was exceptional, and he should feel honoured to be asked back.

So when I was asked what I thought, I had a query , a simple question ;

"How did you feel when you walked back in the lobby?" His comment was "I feel as if I am going backwards, I've been here before, It's time to move on, move forward".

And he couldn't shake this feeling. No amount of money was going to change this. Did he take the position? No. Were the owners annoyed? Yes, of course they were.

However, he made the right decision based on gut feeling and is doing very well in an Owners Rep/ Asset Management role which he is excelling in.

Nothing is different when looking for a new position or not looking. You will know when it is time to move, and only you, not your partner, not your work colleagues, not the recruiter, just you...


What time is it now? Time to change? Time to stay put? Well, you decide. Don't listen to what others are telling you. After all it's your life, hopes and dreams that is in the the basket of eggs.

May the Force be with you.. :)

Foot prints in the Sand

In the old days, Dad used to take us to the park at 'Tanjung Emas' when he had the time. In those days the park was not yet as beautiful as it is nowadays. The land was still of red earth which turns to red mud when it rains. There were only 2 swings and 2 slides available. We had to step on the red path carefully as not to get the mud on our clothes.

As we walked in a single file, I noticed something. I can see Elder Brother's deep big foot prints. Then followed by 2nd brother's deep foot prints. But when I turns around, I could not see my own footprints!! They teased me until I cried, saying that I was a ghost as spirits do not leave any footprints. Dad then explained that I was still small and too light to leave any prints.



Alas, there's a much simpler answer  to it: I just want to leave my footprints where it will not be washed away by time or waves. Yes, that's the very truth.

Some people might think I may be weird when earlier last year, I started to search a tree to carved my name on it. And then writing my name in wet cement at the side of the house. If I suddenly disappear tomorrow, there will be hopefully traces of me somewhere. I will not be invisible or forgotten as if I never existed. Then, someone told me that trees will be cut and cements can be broken. Oh oh..now what?

Words. Words and writing will stay forever as long as there's someone to read them. Words travel through time. Footprints engraved in the mind and hopefully in a few hearts. When I am no longer here, there would still be someone who remembers me... not only as the girl in black, but as a friend also, hopefully..

Taking the Bus..

Taking the bus is like tossing a coin into the air and see which side it will fall on: head or tails. If you are lucky, you will get the seat on the right side (in line with the driver) and next to the window. It's a case of slight superstition for me: i keep saying to myself that should I get that seat, then it will be one wonderful day today. Childish isn't it?

Living outside the town area, means a 30 minutes of seating inside the bus before reaching the bus terminal. Wait for the first bus at 6.30am. Waking up early, I like to catch up with my sleep on the bus and that explains a lot on the choice of seats. If I sit at the aisle, I might nod off and put my head on the person next to me. I will end up apologizing and blushing like mad. Ooh..I do hate that when it happens. Sitting next to the window is better, my head will only rest on the window screen.

If you take the same bus as me, you will learn very early that the law of the jungle applies here. Chacun pour soi! Why? You are traveling with hundreds..no..erase that..you are traveling with a bunch of noisy school kids. No matter if you are an aged person or a small kid.. no standing in line or letting the elders go in first. It's a fight to get the best seat. Seriously, there's no fun in standing in a 'sardine' packed bus especially when you are a small size person.

The trip back from work is better as no school children around (it's 7.00pm). People are more relaxed, tired but happy to go home. Just one advice: Pray that there's many empty seat or that a woman is seating beside you. Then you can continue with the morning session nap. :) With a guy.sitting next to you...it's a 50-50 situation. If he falls asleep , then all is well. Just watch out for the chatty type.. asking you on the time, on the weather, your name and etc..etc..

Why don't I  get a car? Well..I do not know how to drive.. :) .. and that will be a long, long story to tell you..