Wheel of Life

It's true what they said: the wheel of life does turn around. Cat had thought that the wheel is stuck and Cat will never see an example of 'retribution' on earth.

Cat knows..it's not good to wish something bad to others..but most of the time cat only sees the good gets trodden, trampled, bashed..that Cat wonders if the contrary does happen.

And today, Cat saw it. Really... M had an accident yesterday in which he was hospitalized-having broken ribs. Everyone was silent when they heard the news. Poker faces everywhere. Try as hard as Cat wanted to (God, please forgive Cat.., Cat is only able to find a tiny bit of sympathy inside cat. Guilty conscience prevailing, Cat and a friend gave a call to the hospital to ask about his state..and..oh..grr..he's still the same arrogant person. Oh, again, dear God, please forgive Cat for having bad thoughts  (smile)

All that aside, Cat was thinking that..well, the wheel is still turning. And once it moves, it will continue to do so. There will be time when whatever bad things that you have done will get back to you. When? Only time can tell.

And, it makes Cat a little pensive and sad tonight. There will be a time when Cat too will have to grit her teeth and bear whatever comes onto Cat's way. Hmm..

For the time being, hoping that God will understand.

Still looking with shiny eyes and hoping for the best. No regrets...ever. But a heart wishing a wish and hoping that all will turn out well.

Thank you God. Cat is grateful for the everything and for the reminder.

Signing off,
Cat

A Miracle..

Today, we went to the hospital to visit a friend who has just given birth to a beautiful baby boy. The baby was sleeping and had a look so pure and innocent that cat's heart just went to him. His eyes were closed, yet his tiny hands and legs moved slowly under the blanket that was wrapped tightly around him.

For the first time since these last few days, cat's heart lightened. Cat kissed the baby gently and closed cat's eyes. You know..that baby smell..the best smell in the whole world. And as cat's lips touched the baby's soft tender cheek, cat fell in love with him. A miracle...this feeling of love.

The mother was still lying on the movable bed. She looked tired but her face was glowing. "The baby is beautiful", cat told her. Suddenly, she picked him up and passed him to cat.."Would you like to hold him, cat? Ooo..Cat's eyes were big. Did she really said that? Yes, she's is still looking at cat and holding the sweet child.

Holding the small precious bundle, all the sadness left cat. How lucky his mother is. Understanding slowly came to cat. Life is worth having when you have someone to tend to and that someone needs you too. Without that bond, life would be empty. Motherhood is a special status that Allah has bestowed upon selected women. It is something that most women dream of achieving but not everyone of us is given such an honor.

Hugging the small baby delicately, Cat gave him a last kiss and returned him to the mother who's shining eyes never left the baby. Warmth came back to cat's cheeks. Oh, how cat wish that he was cat's. But it would not do any good in wishing and envying others.

God answers but in an indirect way. Trial and lessons to make the faith stronger..especially to those that is a bit slow like Cat. Typical of cat, isn't it..strong in theory but weak when it comes to actually doing it.

'God created you from one being and from that being He made it's mate. He created you in the wombs of your mothers, creation after creation, in three fold gloom.Such is Allah your Lord' (Az-Zumar 39:6)

Signing off,
Cat

High Temperature 2

The temperature continues to rise. Today, it's at 33°C and expected to reach till 35°C on Saturday. The weather forecast said that we were to expect occasional storms in the day.

For an occasional storm, it's really occasional: 7 minutes of heavy rain and it stops as sudden as it came. By the time you put on your slippers and open the main gate, getting a little bit drenched (as you were lazy to get an umbrella), the strong sun quickly comes out and let you dry again.

Even the water level of small river (hmm.. or maybe it's more like a very big ditch/drain) besides the area where cat lives, has dropped down drastically 1 1/2 meters from the normal level. That is how hot it is here.

The NST newspaper last Sunday reported that TNB (Tenaga Nasional Berhad) advised consumers to use electricity prudently even more so during this heatwave. On Feb 4, power demand stood at 14,384 megawatt and six days later the demand registered at 14,417 megawatt. (an increase of 33 megawatts in 6 days).

That is to be expected. The hotter it gets, the more you uses the fan and/aircond. And this weekend will surely shows a much higher increase in electricity usage as Malaysians are enjoying a long holiday period from this Friday till Sunday due to the Prophet Muhammad's birthday. Hoping (even if it's hopeless) that they will not be any black outs in Cat area again and again. Hot and in darkness: :( hated that..

The human temperature around here is also on the rise. More headaches with things to decide and basically a need to cut cat's self to 100 pieces in order to get all things done (Going back later and later . How do you prevent the heat from getting to the head? Sigh.. wish there is a good formula to it. Tempers so thin and feelings so fragile. Luckily cat does not have a license to drive :p.. who knows what this distracted cat might run over while driving? Hmm..Got to keep cool.. and cat still has not get her 'Sirap Bandung' or Ais Kacang yet..

Signing off,
Cat 23022010

Mirrors

If you observe people, you will see that there are times when they do not know anything about themselves.

They made their choices to do what they think were right.

They say and acted out their decisions.

They say that they are happy.

However, their faces showed what they really feel. 

They do not realise  this.

They do not notice this

The fact that their eyes are like mirrors that reflected what really is inside  their hearts.

For Argument's Sake

He: Marrying you was the biggest mistake of my life!
She: I am ashamed of myself for ever choosing someone like you!

The shouts went on and on..a never ending litany of blaming each other. If only they would stop and think..

For whose sake is the argument really for? For themselves...or..for the child who has been hearing all the shouting while crying in the corner..?

Don't they realised that though they are husband and wife, they remained two different people. They will never have the same opinion on everything. If all they do is argue..without ever trying to understand each other, then they will only hurt themselves in the end.\

Sometimes, when you are too close to one another, you thought that you can see clearly where the problem lies. Alas, in reality, sometimes it's when you are closest that you cannot understand anything. You only feel your own hurt and see what he has done to hurt your feelings.

It's at times like this, you need to calm down and take a close look at one another.

Living Life

Life ( by anonymous)

live life
at one point or another its time to move on
live life to the full before it’s all gone
never regret doing anything that you wanna do
life is too short so its entirely up to you
regret is not a nice thing to be playing on your mind
so go explore the globe and see what you can find
the big bad world is not as scary as you think
get in the ocean on a boat that's gonna sink
climb Mount Everest without any harness
hanging on for life from light through to darkness
jump out of a plane at 30 thousand feet..
don't be scared and accept defeat
don't be spending most of your life in bed
You'll get enough sleep when you die

----------------------------
Have you ever sometimes wish that you were someone else?
Wishing to be better, slimmer, smarter or funnier? Once in a while the thought will enter the head : To be wishing for things to be different from what they really were or for to be able to change the past or even to be someone else than you are.

Sometimes the response or the "look" you get from people made you want to live otherwise. When that happens, check yourself. Are you doing what you expect others want you to do or are you doing it because it's something you wanted to do.

The choice and responsibility for achieving success and happiness is our own. Change the mindset. Think of what those people are saying as a provocation. A little struggle, a little risk is necessary. Move away from the unhealthy environment, if you must. Then, do whatever is necessary to achieve whatever you want. Do it for your self and you'll find that you have more interest and better results. If you want to be slimmer, then go and put on a diet. Do Not grumble. People will only laugh at you. The world loves to make fun of other people's misery. Put on your smile, put cotton in your ears, tighten your belt and just do it. Just have to keep it your head to do it because you wanted it.

Easier said than done? Of course, writing this is easier than trying to actually do it. Sometimes you will be lucky to have someone to support this changes and stand by you through whatever waves that rocks the boat. Sometimes you would be all alone in making the changes. Sometimes, every 1 km, there's a stone wall blocking your way. Sit down and think. You have been hitting the wall with your knuckles and it's still standing there. Maybe the wall is there to tell you that it's a no entry area and you should think of taking another path. Time to look at things differently.

Cat has been there and cat can tell you it's not easy. Cat would have like, wish and hope that things are different.. Alas, that is certainly impossible.

Carpe Diem.

Signing off,
Cat

Be With Me

At crucial moments in life, 

what people rely on..

is warm affection and understanding..

and not on cool judgement..

Do not tell me that what I have done is wrong..

or I should have done this , that..

but..

just hold me tight..lend me your shoulders

and tell me that 

everything is going to be alright..

Poison Pen Letters

Poison lettter, (in Malay, this is what we call 'surat layang'), is as nasty as it sounds.   Letters sent out by anonymous people with the intention to upset, produce anger and sometimes fear also to the person who receive it.

To what purpose? God knows.. but bad intentions surely. Even now, there are still enough poison letters going around..(maybe..not so much as by paper..but also through sms and through the e-mail.

A friend recently showed Cat a poison pen letter that she received. It was short and barely a page long. It was rather the content of the letter that upsets her as it was a highly critical accusation against her. The sender was implying that Cat's friend is  being 'over friendly' with boss in order to get her recent promotion. What nonsense. Everyone knows how hard she  worked for it. And worse of all, the sender is certainly a coward in refusing to reveal his or her identity.

Some people would say that it's only words. However..it does matter if the accusation is untrue, it's what people believes. Of course, having someone tell you off in front of your face is not very pleasant either..but at least you do have an opportunity to defend yourself. It's the same thing as when someone said bad things or put a series of accusations on the comment at your blog and then goes to hide behind the name of 'Anonymous'. You don't have a name or a face to ask for further clarification. Gossips..do travel faster than Air Asia.

Some people would advise just to ignore the poison letter. Treat it as rubbish. But it is hard to do that at times. To the person, Cat would just like to recite a proverb : Some things that are fun to you, might be death to others. These are the stuff that contributed to broken marriages, friends turning into foes and careers hurt just because of a person's feelings of resentful, envy or discontent was voiced out by the wrong channel. Hmm.. sometimes it just baffles Cat.. what does a person really gets from all these?

Cat's teacher used to say that be careful of your words and what you write. Words are like prayers. Each words that you utter (be it good or bad) has an impact in deciding the success or failure for someone. And everything is like a ripple on the water when you throw a stone in it. The ripple becomes bigger and it might even reach you back. What goes around comes around.

Good night..sleep peacefully and hopefully your conscience will stay clear..

The First Break

Cat was reading this motivation book (:p something to help keep the chin up and the smile as bright as the shining star) and the topic just caught the eye.

The article was saying that there is a time in life where you are at a junction or at a low period of your life. Someone saw something in you once..and gave you that first break. A break that has partly made it possible for you to be at where you are today.

It might be your father or mother, a thoughtful uncle, a perceptive teacher, a demanding boss, an appreciative partner or it's just someone who trusted you enough to dug deep down into his pocket and came up with the few bucks that you desperately needed.



Whoever it is, the person had had the kindness and the forethought to put his trust and confidence in you. Those are the 2 beautiful qualities that separated a human being from a beast.

The first step to do is in the next 24 hours, take 10 minutes to write a grateful note to the person who helped you. A thank you note that.. who knows is much needed.. to soothe that person's heart at the moment. A thank you note to let that person knows that his/her words or help is not wasted and it has changed someone's life.

But what if.. that person is no longer on this earth? How do you say thank you? How do you let him/her knows that he/she has changed your life? Well, that is why cat believes that a 'thank you' and 'i'm sorry' should be given immediately and not be kept till the time for it has expired. Throw away the ego.. life is short for those that really matters..



Secondly, why don't you take another 10 minutes to give someone else a break? Who knows? One day you yourself might get a nice letter. It could be one of the most gratifying messages that you have ever read.. a balm for the heart..

Lastly, write in your blog a thank you note for that someone..Maybe the letter would mean a lot to someone..

Hmm.. thinking of all those that has helped cat reach this stage in her life.. especially to you who has tendered more than a helping hand in a time where cat believes that life has no more meaning.. Thank you from the deep of cat's heart.

Signing off,
Cat

Change In Weather

Has the weather always been this cold? Or has it been gradually changing..without cat noticing it? It was summer with flowers blooming everywhere the last time we met. Now, it seems like autumn. Words needed to be thought of first, before it can come out of the mouth. Smileys have now become an 'exclusive' item.. to be given out in moderation. No more spontaneous bantering or laughing. 

Cat hates autumn.. as this is the transition period from summer to winter. One is always watching the weather forecast and looking up also at the sky.. wondering if it's going to stay chilly or whether it will snow tonight.

'I have to ask you a question. It's a good one so think about it. If two people just can't seem to get it together, when do you get to that point of enough is enough?'
-The Mexican movie-

Signing off,
Cat looking at the sky