You Still Won't Know

Humor helps us to think out of the box. The average child laughs about 400 times per day, the average adult laughs only 15 times per day. What happened to the other 385 laughter ye..?
Hmm..maybe lost in the darkest night..

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When you hit the bottom
When you're left with nothing
When you can't tell the difference,
You still won't know what it's like..

When you think you're damaged
When it's overwhelming
When you can't get past it,
You still won't know what it's like
What it's like

You haven't seen the ghosts that I've seen
You haven't lived enough to know what it means
To feel the pain when love turned cold
To taste the end before it's over

When your heart is broken
And you can trust no one
When you think you're lonely,
You still won't know what it's like

When you feel like nothing
You just can't take it
When your heart is breaking
You still won't know what it's like
What it's like

You haven't seen the ghosts that I've seen
You haven't lived enough to know what it means
To feel the pain when love turned cold
To taste the end before it's over

You don't know the person suffering
Every day I fight a war with God
And every time I think I have figured it
Things started tumbling down again
Take a look at what's left of me
Take a look at what's left of me, left of me

The Lost Ones

Suicide.
It's the act of taking one's life.

Most of us surely know someone or have read in the papers about people who have thought about, tried to and finally completed the act of cutting short their life. Whatever the reason that pushes someone to step off a roof, pushing down a few dozens of pills, pulling a trigger to their head or simply gave up all the fight..it's no funny matter.

You would think that suicide solves all problems.
Whatever the reason, once a suicide is committed, it's those that are left behind that suffers most.

If a loved one dies of an accident, you would probably say that everything is out of your control. Alas, suicide leaves people thinking and trying to make sense of it. The burden and guilt of not seeing it happening, of not paying attention, wondering and wondering if there's anything that could have been done to prevent it. There's no way to comfort themselves.

Alas, as teacher keeps telling Cat: you need to remind yourself that the choice of suicide is certainly not yours. Because, no matter what happens, no one is the sole influence of another person's life. At the end, it is his/her own choice to put an end to life'.

To those that really think that they cannot handle it anymore, that things are too heavy a burden on your tired mind, please believe that there are someone out there who cares about you. You may not think so and it might not be enough to solve the problems..but there is someone who really really care and understands. Before you make that final decision, make that call. Talk to somebody..that person might just be waiting by the phone for your call..at any time.

It might just be a matter of misunderstanding that needed an explanation. It might be a matter of miscommunication. It might really be that some people meant the harsh words that they say to you.. but there is also someone who do care what happens to you and would be really sad if you do decide to take that path.

Do you know..that Life is not and never will be easy. Those who smile might have tears hidden in them. But talking and sharing the burden with a friend helps. Cry if you feel that it helps but do not shy away from an extended hand.

Cat understands how they feel. Cat is also not the bravest person alive but she is also trying her best to understand how things work. Cat is sad and full of anxiety.. But when people keep on and on talking about her mistakes and pitying her, it weakens her more than ever. Stop saying 'Poor Thing' when Cat passes by because..repeating it will make Cat more sad. Instead, lend Cat your hand and teach her how to make it through life's trial..

We should always remember that to themselves,No one is just another person. Touch gently the life Of your fellow man.. For the human heart shapes as easily as clay upon the potters wheel...

Stormy Nights

Stormy clouds are gathered here and doesn't seem to have signs of moving on to other places. Cat is trying to be as brave as she can. A friend's motivation story keep on rewinding itself in her mind. When God gives a person sunshine and happiness, that person never questions God 'why me?'. So, it wouldn't do also to complaint and question God now when you are sad.

Nowadays, Cat's voice has become quieter. There are times when she cannot say anything. That is why she writes.

No, that is not totally right. Cat chooses to write. It's her choice. Words, when spoken cannot be taken back. But words written, can be read and rewrite again and again. The best part is that thoughts and feelings can be shared..

God didn't promise days without pain,
Laughter without sorrow,
Sun without rain,
But He did promise strength for the day,
Comfort for the tears, and light for the way..

* Love looking at the above photo **

Empty Decorations

It's a question of expectations..
When someone started to become an important feature in your life, bit by bit a certain kind of expectation starts to materialized. What that someone does or does not do starts to matter very much.

You should have cared..
You should have called..
You should be here with me..
You should know that it upsets me..
You should..you should..

Expectations.. why must there be any?
Because the heart beats faster and becomes lighter next to that person.
Because he has become a part of you..
And you would expect him to care for you the same way that you cared for him..

Life is certainly funny..and you never get any wiser..even when time passes by..
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I wake in the dawn to showers of light
Moments of emptiness around
Floating away with auras of hope
But reality brings me to the ground

What can I do?
What can I say?
I need a place to hide away
Just for awhile
Just for a smile..
Just for the life I used to know
Where every song was filled with words of love
and not of anger..
Where did they go?
Why did they leave me far behind?

Cause I don't want to be alone
Living life all on my own
I don't want to live my life in isolation
Filled with empty decorations
Cause I want to be with the people that I know
Who will do the things I do

Making all my dreams come true
I don't recognize the shadows on my door
Although I have seen them all before
Because the only thing I really want
Is to be with you..

I look at the sky and it looks back at me
I can't hear the silent melodies
I know that I am here but yet I am lost
Blown in confusion by the breeze

Hiding my face, crying alone
I need to find my way back home
Back to the place, the wonderful days
Living the life I used to know
Where every smile
Was born out of love and sincerity
And every tear of everlasting joy

Cause I don't want to be alone
Living life all on my own
I don't want to live my life in isolation
Filled with empty decorations
Cause I want to be with the people that I know
Who will do the things I do

(Theme song for "Kopitiam TV series)
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