Regrets

When you are living in your mother's comfort,

You tend to forget all her effort,

How she has loved and cared for you,

The emotional torment that she has been through.

You think your mother will live forever,

There will be other times to show you love her,

I'm sure she'll understand that too.

One day you might find that she has gone,

Things will never be the same at dawn.

You will regret like I have,

Cry like I have.

What could have been will never be,

How could you have let it be?

Time makes no dates,

Love can never wait.

No need for Mother's Day or her birthday,

You can make everyday a special day,

Just by a thoughtful gesture,

You'll give your mother endless pleasure.

For those for whom it is still not too late,

Don't make the same mistake,

Things left undone & unsaid,

Will only give all a heartache..

Upgraded Version

Cat has always been a lover of books especially novels. Cat can finish reading a good novel in maximum 2 days of continuous reading. People eat food to live, cat absorbs books (you could always see cat anywhere with her nose in a book). Cat can tell you what a book is about from A-Z just by looking at the title.

All these activities came to a stop last 2 years when cat had some problems which change cat's whole outlook on life and faith. The novels were left aside. They provided good reading but it's certainly not real life. Cat was lost and just doesn't have any clue in solving the problems. Just hoping like in the story books, that things would pass and someone would help cat find the answer.

The encounter with serious materials/books came at this time. Unable to sleep, cat was searching for 'boring' textbook like materials to read to help getting sleepy. But instead of that, cat found the book interesting. It was an autobiography. Another person's real life story. That opened cat's eyes to try to find similar books. Then cat started a second, a third and a fourth book. One thing leads to another. Then cat found motivational articles and s friend gave cat her first 'Chicken Soup for the Soul'. One thing leads to another.

And each time, cat saw a pattern. These people whose life stories were recorded in the books have all tasted hardship and also success. The rich and famous. But then, at the peak of their lives, they were tested again. And this is where you could see there are 2 groups of people. One group chose to give up, self destroy all their achievements by taking drugs and alcohol. The Lost Souls.
The other group has taken a different path: to face whatever demons and struggles to survive and get out of whatever mess they are in. If there is no ready made door, they will find a window. Giving up is not in their dictionary. These are the very ones that found happiness. The optimists.

You can come from a rich or poor background. The past are events that are out of your control. You can't change whatever has happened. It's how you live your own life now that matters. Your self esteem, knowing your own worth and strength helps. Back to the basics. Start with your own self. You can never make someone else happy unless you are happy yourself. How to do that and what formula to use? There's no one specific way to it. As cat now learns.. each person has to find his or her own approach in understanding life. Some people can find the answer just by a click of the finger but some needs to experience things first hand before they understands. Formula A might work for A but it might not work on B. People can only guide you, but you need to find the answer yourself.

Nowadays, cat is reading books on religion, biographies and motivations. Sometimes it even took weeks to finish one single book. (smile). Keep stopping to think and absorb the ideas after each chapter. And of course , hehehe..finding someone to bug if cat finds the chapter hard to understand. Cat still read novels from time to time for leisure. You can never forget your first love (smile)

Cat weird? Nah..not at all. Just a bit different..and accepting it. :) It's not against the law to be different, isn't it ? (smile). Cat, in another way, is still the same cat: a bit childish and playful at times and with close friends, enjoys teasing people and being teased, laughing at jokes, open mouthed watching a magician performs his magic tricks, enjoys watching cartoons, loves people with a sense of humor and shed some tears watching a sad movie. Same cat but on upgraded and stronger version.

Signing off,
Cat V5 (18.1.10)

Beginning

Looking at the blue sky..what a warm sunny day.

It's a day where no sad stories should be told.
Where should Cat start ye..? From the very beginning? Or maybe from the middle... or let's just skip everything, and turn straight away to the last page. Nah, let's go accordingly by the book.

Once upon a time.. 

Cat was born in a small fishing village in southern Johor. By 'small', Cat really mean small: there were less than 3000 inhabitants (well. actually 2999 inhabitants + 1 kitten) there at that time.

Most of the villagers are fishermen, and a few are farmers. The land are plentiful but more suitable for cultivation of pineapple and local fruit trees. As often the case with small villages, there are not that much entertainment around, and the younger generations would choose migration to bigger towns.   

It was actually Cat's mum hometown. Mum had grown up there all her life till she got married to Dad at the age of 18 years old. Mum was so lucky to have 14 of her siblings with her, as the distance from one house to another is around 8km. Just imagine, how far it was to go to school. It took her 30 minutes of walking in the wee early hours (even before the cock crows).

When Cat was small, we did not 'balik kampung' often. :) It was a journey of 180km from Muar to Kukup and around 2 hours and 45 minutes of driving in Dad's antique red colored Volkswagon. It was a long drive with a panoramic view of plantations, never ending highway and again more trees along the road.

Cat got carsick almost every time we made the trip, affected by the strong smell coming from the palm plantations and from the long bumpy ride. (Thank God the roads are much better nowadays, kan..:)

Passion

Let us talk about passion tonight. No, not that kind of passion as in love. (smile) But passion for work. This afternoon, as cat was strolling, out in the sun, during lunch time.. cat saw an old couple that has been selling fruits nearby to cat's flat 6 years ago, pushing their fruit cart just across the road. Ohh.. just fancy that..they are still selling fruits until today.

Cat ran across the street (cat being cat), and said hi to them. How happy the heart is when they still remember cat. After some exchange of cat's news, cat asked them about their children. Do you know that the eldest is now a businessman and the 2nd (which is the youngest) is a teacher.

Oo..then cat started to remember the case of the old man who was abandoned by his children and lived in the shed behind a school. That old man had had to work as a gardener in the school as his children had abandoned him due to a quarrel among themselves. Oh.. don't tell cat that this couple had been abandoned too.

As if reading cat's mind, the old man started to laugh.' No, cat. My wife and I have been selling fruits since we were young. We are not rich but we have enough for everyone and we even managed to send the kids to universities with the money we make selling fruits. So now, even though the kids do send us more money than we ever needed, we feel that we as long as we are still strong, we want to keep on selling fruits especially during week days. The schoolkids will miss us if we are not there and we would take this time too to meet old friends like Ah Seng who sells mee at the other corner.'

'Don't worry about us, cat.' the wife smiled. 'Our children sent us money every month. We can stay at home and watch TV if we wanted too. We don't know until when we will still stay together.. and..we do need the exercise' chuckled the old man while looking at the wife.

Cat was surprised. This is the first time that cat has seen people love doing what they are doing. They were actually proud that they are still working and not just waiting for their children' money. Imagine that..

While there are some of us who doesn't want to work but just want to enjoy the good life. There are those who just complaints about their job.

Just imagine that..

Signing off,
Cat