With A Heavy Heart

It has been some time (quite a long time actually) since Cat wrote in this blog.
Blame it on the rainy season, blame it on the slow internet connection, blame it on the inflation or blame it on anything that is moving. The real reason is actually Cat has lost her passion to write. She does not want to write anymore, for fear that once started she could not stop. Writing allows you to release whatever that is bothering you, even those reality that you tried to simulate as stories. Now would be the time to start again.

Dad used to scold Cat a lot, saying that Cat is stubborn. Cat is not a person who learns from others experience. She needs to stumble and fall first, in order to know how much it hurts. Trust me, it hurts a lot, it does. The scratches and wounds are not seen on the face, but it cuts deep down inside. Some people say Cat looks better, prettier now than in the past. But the heart feels heavier with each passing years. What good is a pretty face when the heart yearns for something it cannot have.

He did once told Cat about 'Jodoh'. Cat was thinking that he may be just delaying things. Maybe he was not so serious about this relationship. He was asking Cat to be patience, but there are other voices around keep on asking Cat until when Cat wants to wait? Cat, in the end listens to the others instead of him. 

 That is the secret. That is what is making this Cat sad.