Racing Against Time

It's nearly end of 2010.
While everyone is having discussions on where to celebrate the new year, I am racing against time to finish my work and budget for 2011. While they were talking about dresses to wear, I am thinking on how to finish all the uploading and updating of the items that boss has given.

Barely a good way to end the year, isn't it? Hope yours would be better.

I am not a perfect person,
My hair doesn't always stay in place
And I can be clumsy at times
Forgetting where things were left
Sometimes I can be good
Other times, I fight with my friends
Or prefer to be alone than with many.
Somedays, I laugh to the heart's content
Other days, I shed tears when things go wrong
But, when I think about it and take one step back..
I am proud of who I am..
Regardless how imperfect I might be..
This is me.

You Got Mail..

In the old days, it was so hard to send news. There was practically no system of transportation except by walking or by boat down the river. If you are expecting a child and your husband is away in another region, by the time your letter reached him and he rushed back home..the child might already be 6 months old. Really. This is in the history books: The letter carrier would have to walk through jungle, went up and down the hill, up and down mountains..to deliver the letter safely (that is unless he's not being eaten by a tiger lah). :p

Then the Dutch, the Portuguese, The British, The Japanese came to the land. The roads were better (no more red lanes, lesser jungle) and bicycles, motorcycles and lastly cars were introduced. People went to school and learn to write. Writing pads and letters were a hit. A letter or a postcard can reach the receiver in a matter of 3-5 days only (depends on where the address is, of course). All is well..then came the time where a big postal scandal was discovered: there were tons of letters found at a rubber tapper's plantation! Ooo..a postman was playing truant and went elsewhere instead of delivering them. The sun always shine after the rain. The postal service became much better and more organised.

Now, there's the electronic services: e-mail, YM, Chat messengers and SMS (of course). Such a big leap from the older days. Messages in a blink of the eye..anywhere, anytime. Hurray for the modern technology.

The message here is: After all the hard work that those people had done to deliver messages, please send news more often. :p No excuses! Especially if you are reading this, a line a day would be sufficient for those that are waiting to hear from you.. Three words would also be good :p hehehe

Partners In Life

“Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas”
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When someone mention 'Marriage', it's always about building a family and having responsibilities like: maintaining a home, caring for your partner, having a successful career and ensuring a secure financial fund.

In the meantime, something would be forgotten: practical matters take priority over romance and intimacy. There is no more spontaneity because all your plans are now concentrated on children, relatives and family. You begin to follow fixed routines and motions in sexual passion and no more experimentation or novelty. How sad it is when comfort turns your life into blandness. Lovers and partners become ..roommates or housemates.

Do you remember what intimacy is anymore? The excitement of the early days and how every look, whisper and touch seemed to fan the flames of desire? There's also the nervousness of getting it right.

Do you remember how things were when you finally gave your heart to him and get increasingly comfortable with each other? The butterflies in the stomach eases and everything becomes about closeness, familiarity and understanding. Over the years, he knows you even better than you know yourself.

Do you remember the time when you still hold hands, look into each other' eyes, hug in bed or stop and really listen or talk to your spouse?

Intimacy can only be attained through trust and security. It isn't like running a sprint, just to get to the end. It is supposed to be a lifelong journey of intimacy between a husband and a wife. Two persons, two hearts sharing one feeling: Love.

Some people search their whole life for it..whereas some people who has found it, just let it waste away..

Some people wait a lifetime,
For a moment like this
Some people search forever,
For that one special kiss..
For a moment like this
Some people spent two lifetimes,
For a moment like this
Some people search forever..

Being Ordinary

He was telling her that she was stupid to reject boss's offer of promotion the other day. Stupid as in rejecting an opportunity to advance to a higher level of so-called 'greatness' and use it as a stepping stone to move further up. What he did not understand is that..what's at the base of her decision. Doesn't he think that she would have like to accept it if the environment and the terms had been different..

Someone had once told her once that while it takes courage to achieve greatness, it takes more courage to find fulfillment in being ordinary. Boss must have thought that she has gone crazy..to want to remain as an 'ordinary' staff and not join the big boys league. They all must have been right..but she doesn't mind.

Staying back, being an all rounder, being stuck in non ending meetings has never been a problem with her. It's more to do with..something else..

Thinking about it, each year, each birthday would also not make her younger. She wants to have the time to watch the view when the sun rises and sets it's glorious color over every square inch of the earth. She wants to spend more time with herself and her loved ones. These are the joys that have little relationship with power.

If this is what people call by being 'ordinary', then let her be 'ordinary'. Being ordinary would allow her to venture into other things than work, having time to do those things that she always wanted to do, guiding her soul back to the correct path and leaving a memorable footprint in someone's life. The company will not miss her when she resigns regardless of the hours she has put into it. But someone might.. Being 'ordinary' still means working hard but it means still having time to care, share , give, pray and love..She is handing her trust of her 'ordinary' life in the hands of an extraordinary God. There would be no awards or recognition for any of the above pursuits but then, nothing also can sum up their value.

Life Lesson

Most people do not know what they want
But they are pretty sure that they have not got it.

Some know what they want
But they do not want to try and get it

Others know what they want and have got it
But they do not know how to appreciate it

A few knows what they want
But they can never have it no matter what they try..

I Believe

Words do hurt, despite the saying 'sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me'. There is no greater sense of uselessness than the feeling that people do not believe in our abilities or talents.

Most of us hunger to know that others care about us. We want to know that others are there especially during a period of chaos and self doubt. We want to have people believing that we can rise to the occasion and achieve our goals even if the goals are different.

Many of us grow up with all kinds of negative feedback that destroys our belief in ourselves. It does help if we understand that in our journey along a new path of choice and personal development, things may not get easier all the time. However, if we stick with it, we will gently and softly see that our belief in our selves will continue to grow.

Then the world will look different to us. It doesn't really change but our perception of the world will change to one of greater trust and understanding that there will always be an ebb and flow in life. What we need to keep us focused is belief.

When you believe in others, you believe the world is a safe place. When you believe in yourself, you believe that you have all that you need accessible to you to address the issues of day to day living.

Keep in a state of positivity by filling your mind with positive thoughts so that you may live in a state of positive expectancy. A mind can only think about one thing at a time. Choose to take control of your thinking and you will increase your belief in yourself.

There is no stimulus like and there are no words sweeter than: I believe in you. It's a great feeling that comes when others that we respect and love have confidence in our abilities.

I Believe in Myself... and I will not let anyone or anything hurt me ever again.

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When loving someone only makes you sad, it might be time to really walk away..

A Mom's Kisses

Once upon a time, these kisses were magical. They healed scraped knees and bruised hearts. Now, these same kisses are avoided like medicines and vegetables.

It's past bedtime and the whole house was quiet. The little girl was fast asleep with the blankets bundled up at her feet and her hand holding fast to the corner of her pillow case. I push the hair away from her face, and give her a soft goodnight kiss. This is the only time that I get to kiss her without any resistance. They say that only sons hated kisses, but nowadays even daughters are ashamed to be seen kissed by their mothers.

Once upon a time, my kisses were magical. They healed scraped knees and bruised hearts. They could also lessen the pain of a cut finger and lighten up a dampened spirit. Recently, though, these kisses are avoided like a virus. No show of public affection in front of school mates, kisses were wiped as soon as they landed on the cheeks. Kisses are now yucky and only to be taken out in case of bleeding.

Kids, oh, how fast they grow and how you would always ashamed them. But isn't a mom the one person who can give you a kiss now and then without asking for permission first?

Winter's Love

A friend was telling cat about a wedding that she attended last month. What bugs her is that the wedding couple were grandparents. The groom, at 60 years old, has been single for 8 years, after his wife passed away. The bride, at 55 years old, has been alone for 10 years.

The friend was mumbling about how inappropriate it all seems : old people thinking about sex and marriage whereas the 'grave' has already their name in the calling list.

Whoa there! Getting married is not just about 'sex'. It's also as simple as a story about two people who decided that they want to spend the rest of their lives together. (If it's only because of sex, the guy would surely choose a 'SYT' instead).

The friend was aghast :'But why? They can't be lonely! The groom has 4 grown up children and 14 grandchildren. And she has 3 children of her own with God knows how many grandchildren!

Is it so weird? These things happened you know. We are not talking about numbers or scientific things here. We are talking about an abstract thing called 'feelings'. Although you have millions of friends, relatives or off springs, you can still feel that something is obviously missing in your life. Yes, you can still be lonely while surrounded by a whole bunch of people.

It's not impossible that at the winter of their lives, somehow love has found a way into their hearts. Call it destiny, call it coincidence, call it serendipity or you can call it by any other name..apparently, one is never too old to fall in love. Despite all the heartaches involved in matters of the heart and in marriages, there might still be some with happy endings.

As French actress and singer Jeanne Moreau had once said :
"Age does not protect you from love. But love, to some extent protects you from age"