A Tale Of Sadness

I am now officially a member of the Sunday afternoon 'Children Playground' club.
Why? Every Sunday, if it doesn't rain, you can see me sitting at the bench at the corner of the playground, tap tapping on my laptop or just watching the children playing. Away from inquiring eyes and the problems of the world. A bit like Forrest Gump..




Today, as I was sitting quietly looking at the kids playing football, an old granny came and sit beside me under the tree. I looked up at her and saw the many wrinkles that has marked her face. Time has certainly taken her youth and made her hair all white. However, something attracted me to her: the peaceful look on her face, as if she has found the secret to life.

We started to talk about nothing and then she mentioned that she has seen me at the playground many times. I just laughed and agreed with that fact. But she did not laugh. She asked me instead why do I look so sad. Stunned, I just kept quiet and look at the sky , trying to making silly remarks about how it was going to rain and that I need to get back home. Running away...



She started to tell of her story and that make me sit down again.

She has been married for almost 35 years and just two months ago her husband passed away. It has been a hard time for her. Waves of emotions kept her sad. There was also an element of anger, sadness, confusion, pain and disbelief at the loss.

She was wondering how she would go on with her life alone. She was helpless in trying to cope on her daily tasks now that he is no longer around. Loneliness: how do you fill up those long hours now that he is not around? It's twice as hard when you have reach her age. My heart went to her. I do understand what you are feeling, grandma.



She was saying that what kept her going on was her sharing the loss with her daughter. It just wouldn't do to isolate yourself from others. Being alone would make you even sadder and lost. Sometimes you just need to share it with others as they are hurting too. You just can't keep keeping away from reunions and gathering..hiding in parks.

She talked also about praying. Having faith in God and all that has been written. This is the time to get closer to God and calmness would surely follow suit. A way to ease yourself out from the dark clouds. It takes time and energy to heal.

She then told me to take care of myself and enjoy the good days. Do not ever be dependent on medications.

Sometimes. I  do not understand why strangers are being so good ? I am smiling, and I assure you that I am ok. I am ok. Really. 

It's just that..it makes me sadder when people are being so kind. Why isn't there a spell to stop someone from crying?