Searching For Courage

Dear Memoir,

Keep turning around and around asking the question 'Why'..
The heart just keep on growing sadder...waves upon waves of sadness..until it feels like it's exploding. Then..no sensation at all..it feels almost as if everything has been wiped out with a sweep of a brush. Numb. Sick to the stomach.

Grasping at the only one thing that makes sense..a gift of comfort from him:

For truly with hardship comes ease; truly with hardship comes ease"
[Surat al-Inshirah: 5-6]

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God, please grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change...
and the courage to change the things I can...
God, and please let me be strong and free me from every sorrow..

اللَّهُمَّ رَحْمَتَكَ أَرْجُو فَلَا تَكِلْنِي إِلَى نَفْسِي طَرْفَةَ عَيْنٍ وَأَصْلِحْ شَأْنِي كُلَّهُ لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا أَنْتَ
"Ya Allah, I hope for Your mercy, do not leave me for even the duration of an eye blink (duration) and correct my total condition. Besides You there is none worthy of worship".

اللَّهُمَّ أَحْيِنِي مَا كَانَتِ الْحَيَاةُ خَيْرٌ لِي وَتَوَفَّنِي إِذَا كَانَتِ الْوَفَاةُ خَيْرَاً لِي
Ya Allah keep me alive only as long as it is good for me and take me when death is better for me..

Got to get ready for work..