Racing Against Time

It's nearly end of 2010.
While everyone is having discussions on where to celebrate the new year, I am racing against time to finish my work and budget for 2011. While they were talking about dresses to wear, I am thinking on how to finish all the uploading and updating of the items that boss has given.

Barely a good way to end the year, isn't it? Hope yours would be better.

I am not a perfect person,
My hair doesn't always stay in place
And I can be clumsy at times
Forgetting where things were left
Sometimes I can be good
Other times, I fight with my friends
Or prefer to be alone than with many.
Somedays, I laugh to the heart's content
Other days, I shed tears when things go wrong
But, when I think about it and take one step back..
I am proud of who I am..
Regardless how imperfect I might be..
This is me.

You Got Mail..

In the old days, it was so hard to send news. There was practically no system of transportation except by walking or by boat down the river. If you are expecting a child and your husband is away in another region, by the time your letter reached him and he rushed back home..the child might already be 6 months old. Really. This is in the history books: The letter carrier would have to walk through jungle, went up and down the hill, up and down mountains..to deliver the letter safely (that is unless he's not being eaten by a tiger lah). :p

Then the Dutch, the Portuguese, The British, The Japanese came to the land. The roads were better (no more red lanes, lesser jungle) and bicycles, motorcycles and lastly cars were introduced. People went to school and learn to write. Writing pads and letters were a hit. A letter or a postcard can reach the receiver in a matter of 3-5 days only (depends on where the address is, of course). All is well..then came the time where a big postal scandal was discovered: there were tons of letters found at a rubber tapper's plantation! Ooo..a postman was playing truant and went elsewhere instead of delivering them. The sun always shine after the rain. The postal service became much better and more organised.

Now, there's the electronic services: e-mail, YM, Chat messengers and SMS (of course). Such a big leap from the older days. Messages in a blink of the eye..anywhere, anytime. Hurray for the modern technology.

The message here is: After all the hard work that those people had done to deliver messages, please send news more often. :p No excuses! Especially if you are reading this, a line a day would be sufficient for those that are waiting to hear from you.. Three words would also be good :p hehehe

Partners In Life

“Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas”
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When someone mention 'Marriage', it's always about building a family and having responsibilities like: maintaining a home, caring for your partner, having a successful career and ensuring a secure financial fund.

In the meantime, something would be forgotten: practical matters take priority over romance and intimacy. There is no more spontaneity because all your plans are now concentrated on children, relatives and family. You begin to follow fixed routines and motions in sexual passion and no more experimentation or novelty. How sad it is when comfort turns your life into blandness. Lovers and partners become ..roommates or housemates.

Do you remember what intimacy is anymore? The excitement of the early days and how every look, whisper and touch seemed to fan the flames of desire? There's also the nervousness of getting it right.

Do you remember how things were when you finally gave your heart to him and get increasingly comfortable with each other? The butterflies in the stomach eases and everything becomes about closeness, familiarity and understanding. Over the years, he knows you even better than you know yourself.

Do you remember the time when you still hold hands, look into each other' eyes, hug in bed or stop and really listen or talk to your spouse?

Intimacy can only be attained through trust and security. It isn't like running a sprint, just to get to the end. It is supposed to be a lifelong journey of intimacy between a husband and a wife. Two persons, two hearts sharing one feeling: Love.

Some people search their whole life for it..whereas some people who has found it, just let it waste away..

Some people wait a lifetime,
For a moment like this
Some people search forever,
For that one special kiss..
For a moment like this
Some people spent two lifetimes,
For a moment like this
Some people search forever..

Being Ordinary

He was telling her that she was stupid to reject boss's offer of promotion the other day. Stupid as in rejecting an opportunity to advance to a higher level of so-called 'greatness' and use it as a stepping stone to move further up. What he did not understand is that..what's at the base of her decision. Doesn't he think that she would have like to accept it if the environment and the terms had been different..

Someone had once told her once that while it takes courage to achieve greatness, it takes more courage to find fulfillment in being ordinary. Boss must have thought that she has gone crazy..to want to remain as an 'ordinary' staff and not join the big boys league. They all must have been right..but she doesn't mind.

Staying back, being an all rounder, being stuck in non ending meetings has never been a problem with her. It's more to do with..something else..

Thinking about it, each year, each birthday would also not make her younger. She wants to have the time to watch the view when the sun rises and sets it's glorious color over every square inch of the earth. She wants to spend more time with herself and her loved ones. These are the joys that have little relationship with power.

If this is what people call by being 'ordinary', then let her be 'ordinary'. Being ordinary would allow her to venture into other things than work, having time to do those things that she always wanted to do, guiding her soul back to the correct path and leaving a memorable footprint in someone's life. The company will not miss her when she resigns regardless of the hours she has put into it. But someone might.. Being 'ordinary' still means working hard but it means still having time to care, share , give, pray and love..She is handing her trust of her 'ordinary' life in the hands of an extraordinary God. There would be no awards or recognition for any of the above pursuits but then, nothing also can sum up their value.

Life Lesson

Most people do not know what they want
But they are pretty sure that they have not got it.

Some know what they want
But they do not want to try and get it

Others know what they want and have got it
But they do not know how to appreciate it

A few knows what they want
But they can never have it no matter what they try..

I Believe

Words do hurt, despite the saying 'sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me'. There is no greater sense of uselessness than the feeling that people do not believe in our abilities or talents.

Most of us hunger to know that others care about us. We want to know that others are there especially during a period of chaos and self doubt. We want to have people believing that we can rise to the occasion and achieve our goals even if the goals are different.

Many of us grow up with all kinds of negative feedback that destroys our belief in ourselves. It does help if we understand that in our journey along a new path of choice and personal development, things may not get easier all the time. However, if we stick with it, we will gently and softly see that our belief in our selves will continue to grow.

Then the world will look different to us. It doesn't really change but our perception of the world will change to one of greater trust and understanding that there will always be an ebb and flow in life. What we need to keep us focused is belief.

When you believe in others, you believe the world is a safe place. When you believe in yourself, you believe that you have all that you need accessible to you to address the issues of day to day living.

Keep in a state of positivity by filling your mind with positive thoughts so that you may live in a state of positive expectancy. A mind can only think about one thing at a time. Choose to take control of your thinking and you will increase your belief in yourself.

There is no stimulus like and there are no words sweeter than: I believe in you. It's a great feeling that comes when others that we respect and love have confidence in our abilities.

I Believe in Myself... and I will not let anyone or anything hurt me ever again.

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When loving someone only makes you sad, it might be time to really walk away..

A Mom's Kisses

Once upon a time, these kisses were magical. They healed scraped knees and bruised hearts. Now, these same kisses are avoided like medicines and vegetables.

It's past bedtime and the whole house was quiet. The little girl was fast asleep with the blankets bundled up at her feet and her hand holding fast to the corner of her pillow case. I push the hair away from her face, and give her a soft goodnight kiss. This is the only time that I get to kiss her without any resistance. They say that only sons hated kisses, but nowadays even daughters are ashamed to be seen kissed by their mothers.

Once upon a time, my kisses were magical. They healed scraped knees and bruised hearts. They could also lessen the pain of a cut finger and lighten up a dampened spirit. Recently, though, these kisses are avoided like a virus. No show of public affection in front of school mates, kisses were wiped as soon as they landed on the cheeks. Kisses are now yucky and only to be taken out in case of bleeding.

Kids, oh, how fast they grow and how you would always ashamed them. But isn't a mom the one person who can give you a kiss now and then without asking for permission first?

Winter's Love

A friend was telling cat about a wedding that she attended last month. What bugs her is that the wedding couple were grandparents. The groom, at 60 years old, has been single for 8 years, after his wife passed away. The bride, at 55 years old, has been alone for 10 years.

The friend was mumbling about how inappropriate it all seems : old people thinking about sex and marriage whereas the 'grave' has already their name in the calling list.

Whoa there! Getting married is not just about 'sex'. It's also as simple as a story about two people who decided that they want to spend the rest of their lives together. (If it's only because of sex, the guy would surely choose a 'SYT' instead).

The friend was aghast :'But why? They can't be lonely! The groom has 4 grown up children and 14 grandchildren. And she has 3 children of her own with God knows how many grandchildren!

Is it so weird? These things happened you know. We are not talking about numbers or scientific things here. We are talking about an abstract thing called 'feelings'. Although you have millions of friends, relatives or off springs, you can still feel that something is obviously missing in your life. Yes, you can still be lonely while surrounded by a whole bunch of people.

It's not impossible that at the winter of their lives, somehow love has found a way into their hearts. Call it destiny, call it coincidence, call it serendipity or you can call it by any other name..apparently, one is never too old to fall in love. Despite all the heartaches involved in matters of the heart and in marriages, there might still be some with happy endings.

As French actress and singer Jeanne Moreau had once said :
"Age does not protect you from love. But love, to some extent protects you from age"

Colours For All Season

COLORS FOR ALL SEASONS

Who says that it's all easy being a woman? It can be fun at times (of course :p) but it can be hard also when it comes to choosing an outfit for an event. At this point, cat really envy you guys out there. For a guy, a formal dinner only requires pants and a shirt with a tie and coat. For a casual lunch, a shirt and pants (even a T-Shirt with a collar on top of those faded blue jeans are acceptable).



For a woman, it's a multiply choice questions..with 1001 answers to choose from. Opening cat's wardrobe, it's mostly black, grey or red: black and grey mostly for office wear..and black or red for casual. The 3 main color that can fit in any function. Once in a while, you'll get a surprise to see a pastel blue or pink blouse peeping from the hanged clothes. Same goes with cat's collection of T-Shirt. :p White is a rare article..as it's a magnet for all types of spots, sauce, ink.. (especially with someone who loves to move around like cat). Cat would love to wear white but..it just won't work. Whereas bright colors.. just attracts attention.




If you are going to a Malay wedding, black is an acceptable color if you match it with bits of colors (earrings, colorful brooches, yellow handbag or shoes). BUT no little black dress. A Malay wedding would require the invitees to wear something that covers the knees and those arms. Something that shouts out traditional and respect.



If it's a Chinese wedding that you are going to: then BLACK is a BIG NO! In Chinese culture, black is still a big taboo. Of course, you know that black represents death and tragedy. You can try to hide the black outfit under a load of 'bling blings' but the bride's grandmother would still see it as black and will have a heart attack right on the spot. You would not want to be the cause of any misfortune that might happen to the couple and banned from all festive celebrations all your life, would you? Seriously, do NOT wear black for this occasion.



If it's an Indian wedding, there's no color or dress code restrictions. Half the fun of attending an Indian wedding is getting dressed up. Especially for women, this is the chance to go all out and match dress, shoes, jewelry, makeup, purse, bangles, other accessories, nail polish – anything. Still..a word of caution: in India, more is more and definitely considered good taste for women. Too plunging a neckline and exposed backs are frowned upon, especially at weddings.

Well, got to go now. Cat has a wedding to attend to. :p Do have patience when you have to wait for a woman to get ready. It's not an easy job..and of course, you'll get rewarded for waiting. Isn't the final product worth the wait? :p

7 Ups

1. Let's Wake Up and decide to have a good day today!

2. Dress up with a smile! A smile is inexpensive and it does improve your looks :)

3. Shut Up.. Say nice things and learn to listen to what others are saying. God gave us 1 mouth and 2 ears for us to do twice as much listening as talking.

4. Stand Up for what you believe in..
Stand for something...or you will fall for anything. "Let us not be weary of doing good, for at the proper time, we will reap what we harvest if we do not give up.

5. Look Up! Keep yourself centered. Remember, you are important.

6. Reach Up! For something higher.

7. Lift Up your Prayers!

Que Sera Sera

One of the frequent questions that teachers love to ask in school was: 'What would you like to be when you grow up?' Funny... how they never fail to ask us this question especially in the beginning and at the end of school year. Year after year and after year.

And the funny thing is that they ask but they do not really care what we answer as long as it stays in the norm. It's ok to want to be a teacher, a lawyer, a doctor, a prime minister or a businessman. A teacher, while not up to the same salary scale as the others, is still a very respectable job as you will guide the younger generation towards the better of the nation. And there's always the extra benefits for those working for the government: discounts when buying houses, pensions, bonuses, easier to get loans etc..etc.

Just mention that you wish to be a factory worker, a hotelier or even a nurse, and you'll see the surprised look on teacher's face. A factory worker is often looked down as it has always been publicized as a laborer's job. The same goes as working in a hotel (just the word 'hotel' brings all the worst situations possible into an elder's mind). Why be a nurse (on whose shoulders fell the bulk of the workload) when you can try to go further to be a doctor?

Me and my best friend used to play a game of searching the dictionary for names of good sounding careers and see who can impress teacher and the whole class as well. :) We came out with 'engineer', 'politician', 'member of the Parliment' and 'astronaut'. It was just word games, as we were kids who just had no real idea yet of what to be. Usually, we get away with it with the teacher smiling and nodding her head. But once in a while, teacher would surprised us by asking us to describe about the job that we mention. And of course, gaffes would happen when we did not read the meaning of the job that we mention such as 'prosxxxxxx' and 'smuggler' which entitles you to a visit to the 'counseling office'.

Nowadays, I understood, it's just a case of different mind sets coming from different generations. In their mind, the word hotel rhymes with 'brothel', so which parent or teacher would proudly boast to their friend of the child's profession?

Now, when it comes to our turn to hear a child's ambition, just be ready to listen with an open mind. A boy who wanted to be a hairdresser? Why not? Just look at Dato' Jimmy Choo, he is a shoemaker. But he's making shoes for the Queen of England and for the rich and famous! That is an accomplishment. Datuk Lat, the Malaysian cartoonists, is known for his work worldwide.

Listen to the reason why a child would choose a profession that is different from the rest before worrying. It might be just trying to copy friends or it might be something that he/she really wants. Sit down, google on the details, see what does the job requires and have a discusssion with him/her. It's a whole different ball game out there now.

Que Sera Sera. Whatever you want to be, my child, just do your very best and enjoy the profession that you chose.

Time to Let Go

What is it that makes a daughter looks up to her father?
Some would say it's the nature of things: girls bond with fathers and sons are closer to their mothers. All would depend on the parents themselves: whether each parent was an attentive or an abusive person.

Dr Terry Apter, a psychologist at the University of Cambridge says that: Daughters often see their father as being more objective than their mothers.

Mothers are the serious ones: they mend your clothes, they make sure that you eat your vegetables, you do your homework, teaches you housework and scolds you when you were naughty. A mother, well, sometimes thinks and expects a lot from a daughter.

A father in most cases, while presenting a stern exterior, usually has a soft spot for the daughter. You can count on Dad to be interested in the things that you are enthusiastic about. Mum would listen to your chatter but only until a certain point as she has many things on her hands and mind.

I was 22 years old when Dad died. It still hurts when I think about him.. which I tried not to do often and has not been doing so for a very long time. Dad was the only one who took the time to talk to me when everyone else is either bullying or making fun of the only girl in the family. While mum was always trying to get me to sing each time when there were guests, Dad would let me decide instead if I wanted to do it or not..

At times, when Dad could see me looking sad or with a worried frown on her forehead, Dad would just start the car and bring me along to his office or to his favorite kopitiam. There, the two of us would sit, Dad with a cup of coffee and me with her milo. He would then tell me stories about his life and the history of each building that we saw.

I would not understand all of his stories as Dad had a tendency to use big and sometimes complicated words but it was a happy moment for me. I would listen to the sound of Dad's voice and he was enjoying .. perhaps.. my companionship. If his friends came around to say hi, Dad would proudly introduce me to them as his princess. He told them how brilliant I was and how he thought that I will go far in life. He was the only one also who understood me when I voiced out my need to go far away from home, to stay in a boarding school and then to study abroad in France.

And for 4 1/2 long years, I have stayed away. Determined to only return home when I have something to show Dad. To be someone that Dad would be proud of. And at that time, I only made a few calls to home. Dad didn't want me to waste money. Thus cat would write long letters from time to time telling him what I saw and did in France. I was hoping that Dad would see it with my eyes. What hurts the most was that no one told me that Dad has passed away. It was only 2 weeks after he was buried that I knew he were gone.

Devastated, I came home to find everything has changed. There was not even a letter left for me. Maybe it was anger, or bereavement.. maybe also guilt for not spending more time with him and not being able to see him for the last time. I left my hometown a few days later to work as far as possible from anyone that I knew. Acting as if that episode in her life never happened and that I have been all alone all my life. It helps to convince me to forget what had happened and for me to start a new life.

Older now and perhaps understanding better on how life works..and knowing more about God, I have accepted the fact that I have to let go of the past. It's not my place to judge anyone and it can never bring Dad back to life again. I have made wrong decisions in life but I have also learnt a lot from those mistakes. Life is about learning and not about regretting.

Time to let Dad rest in peace and may God have mercy on his soul..
Amin..

Gratitude

Today, I read a nice post by Brenda Rosaeen on "Grateful". This is her article:

You don’t have to wait till the end of the day. You can stop what you are doing right now. It doesn’t take but just a few minutes,(seconds actually) and think about things that you LOVE. There are probably hundreds of things you can list that you LIKE. Don’t list those items. Your list should give you a feeling, that when you read the words, it’s as if you are there and your senses are activated.
Take a deep breath, relax. What are the first things that come to mind when you think of things you love? That instantly puts a smile on your face and gives you a feeling of peace? Notice how your mood begins to change when you take a minute or two, to focus on each one?

Things that I love? Those are thoughts that made me smile and they are also thoughts that make me sad..

Oranges & Wishes

ORANGES & WISHES



It seems like cupid has been working overtime and his popularity might get him to be on the top 5 list of favorite mythical personality (maybe after Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny).



Valentine Day has come and gone and so has the 'Chap Goh Meh'. What's that? Well, the 'Chap Goh Meh' is the practice of tossing Mandarin oranges into the sea or river by unmarried women, hoping that the fruits will reach some young men who would then become their husbands. Basically, the Chap Goh Meh falls on the 15th and last day of the Chinese New Year (which is also known as the 'Lantern Festival' in China and Taiwan).



As all traditions goes, this started in the old, old days, where girls do not get to go out and socialized as and when they want. They are supposed to stay at home and learn to cook, sew and do housework. Chap Goh Meh is the only time they have to go out and to be seen by eligible young men also in search of partners. So, this is where love stories and affairs started. Romantic setting kan? :)



Someone was asking why do people still do this when we have all the modern technology available in dating services or finding a partner: Myspace, FB, Websites, Ads, Magazines and etc?



Firstly, it's a fun tradition and event.
Tradition: It's not everyday that you get to throw an orange over a bridge, or in the river, or at someone (oppss..crossed that out) or anywhere else! It's also the chance to watch hundreds of people throwing oranges (it's as if the sky is raining with them.. for a few minutes..hehehe).

Fun event: because Malaysia being Malaysia, everyone joins in when there's any festival regardless of your race.



Secondly, well...it's about human nature. It's almost the same case as when you see a wishing well. You would say out loud, 'Rubbish', 'Nonsense', Don't Believe in all that stuff'..but then you would still throw a coin in when no one is looking. Just in case.. :p..

Btw..nowadays, if you picked up an orange on that day, you'll see a phone number, e-mail address encrypted on it. That will be the girl's number. The guys are also joining in the fun..by throwing bananas. That is the only bit of modern technology that is incorporated into the tradition.



Hmm..this reminds cat of a friend's story where they waited until midnight in winter at the town square till no one is around.. and went into a wishing fountain ...collecting coins that were thrown inside. Hehehe..oppss..that is certainly not related to the orange story.. :)

Cupid vs The Tiger

Cat overheard a discussion between 2 friends on the oncoming Chinese New Year in February. This year, the first day of Chinese New Year falls on 14 February..yes the same day as Valentine. Both friends were gloomy at the prospect of not being able to celebrate Valentine's Day with their sweethearts.

Hmm.. cat just couldn't see what's the big problem. Why don't they celebrate it 1 day before? Valentine's Day is certainly not a religious celebration. Whereas the 1st day of Chinese New Year is. And that is also the day where all the family members and relatives gather around for the reunion dinner or celebration. The girls see their boyfriends almost everyday of the week. Would a few days of going back home and not seeing each other too hard to endure?

'But cat! It's Valentine's Day.' one of them cried out.
Ok.. but cat still do not get the point. Guess the puzzled look was very clear on cat's face :p Ouchh..
'No one celebrates Valentine's Day 1 day earlier!' the other girl said.
'Why not?' said cat. 'Will it be against the law? No! Will it be against the religious teachings? Of course not. There's always a first thing for everything and it's just 1 day earlier. Or would you prefer to celebrate it 1 week later? And you should remember that on 14th Feb, no one will be at the office to see the flowers arriving. But if you celebrate it on 13th instead, everyone will still be here.'

Both of them were looking at cat like cat was an alien. Duh..this is not a matter of life and death, dears. And it's easy to read their minds: they would love to show off the flowers to their colleagues. Then smiles appear on the girls' faces. There! One problem solved. Back to work.

'Cat!' Ooo..cat's heart nearly jumped out and stopped. Grr.. can't he enter the office the same way as other people. And pleaseee do not shout. Cat is not deaf yet.
'What is this talk about celebrating Valentine's Day 1 day earlier? You and your silly ideas!'
'Boss, wait. You see.. our restaurants are not that fully booked on Valentine's even if we do get more revenue because of the packages. You see..if the couples booked 1 day earlier on 13th, then we would have more tables for the Chinese New Year gatherings on 14th, won't we? Every other place in town would be fully booked. If you want, we just reserve one outlet on 14th for Valentine's and the rest for the Chinese New Year Dinner.. '
'Hmm..that way, we would get extra revenue on 13th'..That might work..' said he with his mind going 100km per hour. 'Hmm..then we'd better come out with a Valentine's early bird promotion only at..and..need to see how many would take the offer and need to get the companies... Sxxxxx. Why didn't you think of this earlier, cat? If this doesn't work.. Hey, PR, I got this interesting idea..' and off he storms out of the office. Grr..

Count to 20 ,cat. Count to 20. Deep breath, In and out. At least that will leave cat alone for a few hours. Happy working, cat.

Signing off,
Cat

P/S: The Tokong Chee Teong Beow at Jalan Tun Perak in Melaka will also be open on the 1st day of Chinese New Year to allow couples to register their marriage on 14th February.

The bad news is the price for Roses (usually sold at RM 6 per dozen) will now hit RM 30 or more this year. Alice Florist in Melaka says they will still offer the delivery service and open their shop on the 14th Feb (which is unprecedented). Their reason: After all, Valentine's Day is celebrated by all races and not only the Chinese. The only thing is to make sure that the person receiving would be at the address on that day (most offices will be closed).

Cat's conclusion: There's always a first time for everything. Business is business. Hmm..never thought to see the day where Valentine takes the first priority. Imagine that... Well, Cupid 1 and Tiger 0

How Deep Is Your Love

How do you know if a man loves you..?

Hard to tell, but let's go through the below checklist and sees if the signs are there. :)

1) More time
People say that the most obvious of the signs that he’s in love with you is his desire to spend time with you. When a man is head over heels he’ll find reasons to see the woman he adores. Even if it’s for a mere five minutes at the end of the day, he’ll make the time.
-Smiling. 10/10 for him. How he has always been there when you really needed him

b) SMS and texting
On a similar note if he often texts, calls or emails you, he’s got you on his mind.
This is another sign that his feelings are pretty intense.

c) Men are known to be very visual creatures which is why they can’t seem to resist looking when a pretty girl walks by. One of the signs he’s in love with you will be that his interest in others won’t be as piqued. If you two are out together he’ll generally focus mostly on you if he’s in love with you.

d)He’ll also be willing to agree to an all-exclusive arrangement. Don’t be at all surprised if he’s the one to suggest it. He wants you all to himself

e)If he constantly wants to hold your hand, kiss you and touch you, that means he’s falling deeper for you. Although many men aren’t comfortable displaying their affection in public, you may notice him reaching for your hand more often.

f)He’ll also want to pamper you. He may ask if you’ve eaten dinner yet or if you need anything when he calls. This shows he has genuine concern for your well being.

g)He's inviting you to meet the people closest to him
If he wants you to meet his best friend, or his family take that as a step in the right direction. Men typically don’t just bring any girl home with them to meet mom and dad.

h)Some men are glued to their television sets at the same time each week to watch their favorite sports team in action. If he wants to do something with you instead of hanging out on the couch, this is great news. He’s putting your interests and needs ahead of his, which shows he cares deeply for you.

i)He’s interested in your opinion.
He’ll want you to choose activities for the two of you. This shows that he wants you to be happy, another sign that he’s developing strong feelings for you. It also shows that he values your opinion.

j)The last of the signs that a man is in love with you is when he's talking about the future.
If he suddenly starts talking about where he sees himself in a few years and if he suggests how great it would be to have children with you, he’s fallen in love with you.

Listen carefully to everything he says, often his words will reveal exactly what he’s feeling, even if he doesn’t say those three little words directly.

Slow & Steady

It does not matter how slowly you go..
As long as you do give up and stop.

Yin And Yang

According to the Chinese, there are 2 forces in the universe that needs to be well balanced in order to achieve a peace of mind:
a) Yin : Feminine Force (darker) b) Yang : Masculine Force (brighter)

Where the French says that everything has a gender, the Chinese believes that everything can be either Yin or Yang

a) Opposites
Everything has it's opposites. No one thing is completely Yin or completely Yang. Each contains the seeds of it's opposites. Example: winter (Yin)turns to summer (Yang), when noon (Yang) turns to sunset (Yin)

b) Interdependent
Yin and Yang cannot exist without the other. Example, day cannot exist without night.

c) Co-existent
Yin and Yang must be held in balance. If one increases, the other decreases. If there is an increase of Yin, there is also a decrease in Yang.

Regardless of what our gender is, each of us have both Yin and Yang in us. Masculine energy is located at the left logical brain, while the feminine energy is located to the right creative brain. When we keep everything in balance, everything works well. But when we forget and use only one side, things go hay wired.

Imagine finding a partner in life that keeps you well balanced: He, fulfilling what is lacking in you at the same time you sharing what you know and do best to make life more colorful for each other. Someone to catch you when you fall, and someone you can make him laugh when he's feeling blue. Well balanced.. a soul mate that you only meet once in a lifetime.

But life is not about sleeping on a bed of roses. It's about making a journey back to the Creator while passing through many tests..to see how worthy you are and if you have learn any lessons.

The problem arises when one of them forces the other down. It's hard when religion is used as a tool to justify to a woman why she should still be subservient to a husband even though he had caused and is still causing pain to her.

Food for thought: Yin and Yang..

Love And Marriage

Love is holding hands in the street.
Marriage is holding arguments in the street.
Love is dinner for 2 in your
favourite restaurant.

Marriage is a fast food take-out.
Love is cuddling on a sofa.
Marriage is deciding on a sofa.
Love is talking about
having children.
Marriage is talking
about getting away
from children.
Love is going to bed early.
Marriage is going to sleep early.
Love is a romantic drive.
Marriage is a tarmac drive.
Love is losing your appetite.
Marriage is losing your figure.
Love is sweet nothing in the ear.
Marriage is sweet nothing in the bank.
Love is a flickering flame.
Marriage is a flickering television.
Love is 1 drink and 2 straws.
Marriage is "Don't you think you've had enough!".

In short love is Blind...
AND
Marriage is an eye opener..
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Forgiveness

It is never easy to admit that you have made a mistake.
Some blame it on their ego : Why should I be the one who does the apologizing?
Others dislike the look of 'holier than thou' shown on the other person's face.

Forgiveness is an acquittal of sorts. It frees you from dwelling in guilt. It mends strained relationship and let us see how immature we were at times.

We must learn to forgive whatever trespasses that has been committed against us so that we can move on with our lives. The faster you get it done, the better.

We Care Week

We are doing a 'We Care' week at this moment. Well, it's supposed to be for a month..but as usual, things do not turn out as we expected. So the event is cut short to 1 week only with hopes that the lesson will last for months (and miraculously till..at least a year?). :)

The main objective is to create a 'Care' environment. To change the current working environment to a place with a positive flow. Where do we start? Maybe just with the person sitting right next to us. :) Why not?

All of us have been guilty at one time or another of disliking someone just based on their looks, money or status. Sometimes, we even accept someone based on who he/she associate or rate them based on their skills and competencies only. A very stylish but shy colleague might probably get this remark : Miss High & Mighty. Thinks she is so great that she won't make any eye contact with any of us. You think she would care to be friends with us?' Or when you see the cleaning lady doing her routine task in your office, do you just ignore her, thinking that she is a nobody and why should you waste time talking to her? How many times have you passed by a suddenly moody looking colleague and stop to ask why?

How well do we actually know a person or in some cases even ourselves?
As human beings, we all have a need to make someone or something important and worthy of our appreciation. There's a need to discover. There is a need to be noticed. There is a need to belong. We want to connect, improve, appreciate, protect, share and enrich each other in our own special ways.

Gossips and what other people says about us or do to us is not really about us. Sometimes they are the ones who have problems. But those words can effect us. If you show confidence onto someone, you will help them gain confidence. If you show distrust of them, they will very likely become sneaky. What we look for, will magically appears. People relates and responds to a certain situation at a certain time.

It's when we fail to care, that we give in to our ego. We become arrogant, judgmental, possessive and controlling. A smile and kind words costs nothing. Show that you care today.

Step back, and step out of your usual routine. Let's try and see the big picture.
Sometimes, we all need mirrors to remind ourselves of who we are.

Working Hours

According to a study commissioned by a global financial services company (UBS AG) KL people although not the hardest working people in the world (measured by hours of work in a year), we are there in the top 20 list. The report says that we work an average of slightly more than 39 hours per week.

Singaporeans are slightly above us at 40 hours a week. New York is lesser at 37 hours per week, London 34 hours a week and.. surprise, surprise.. Tokyo is doing 38 hours a week! Your colleagues in Paris works only.. 30 hours a week (an average of 6 hours per day only).

Before you give yourself a pat on the back for being among the hardest working people in the world, ask yourself this: Why is it that those highly developed countries work less hours but can be more productive than we, Malaysians, who are working at longer hours? Food for thoughts..

Insomnia

For while some people have a shoulder to cry on

It is the destiny of others that they must cry alone..

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Insomnia is a torture,

While the whole world is fast asleep, you are up all alone.

Your mind is buzzing with every random thoughts in the universe.

Sometimes, nothing comes into your head, your mind goes blank.

You become more aware of the silence.

And it is at this exact moment that you realize how alone you are...

Commitment

Sustainability isn't about the quick fix or the cheap solution.

Generally it means making a commitment and trying, as best we can, to honor it.
In preserving a relationship, we are going to encounter difficulties.
The good life is not a problem-free life.

In point of fact, the process of overcoming adversity often produces some of the most rewarding experiences we will ever have. Human beings need to be challenged to 'test their mettle,' as it were.

Throwing in the towel at the first sign of trouble or small inkling of distress may be the easy thing to do, but it doesn't help our self-concept. Most of life's troubles can be overcome if we are willing to work through them with patience.

- Michael A. Schuler

On The Move

Busy and keep running here and there to catch up with all the pending work. Taking a short break to sit down a short while and write a note to you. Do hope that you will not feel like she ignoring you.. only that she's having her hand full of things at the moment.

There are some changes going on here. Everyone can feel it but we just could not quite grasp what it is. Everyone seems to be in a hurry to spend their money on holidays and things. July which is supposed to be a low season for us , hoteliers, suddenly become so busy. There's no Public Holidays or events planned for the month but the small hotels in Melaka are enjoying an occupancy averaging 60% on weekday and 100% on weekends. As for us, the big players, weekdays where we used to get only 35% occupancy previous year, we are getting 55-60% weekdays and also 100% on weekends.

I am not complaining , as more business means achieving more than the targeted budget. But still, weird changes without any logical explanation just bugs her. She hates it when she cannot explain things. :)

It could not be the coming fasting month. The pattern has always been the same: The month preceding the fasting month has always been a slow month. Is it because of the news that the price for food items and petrol will be hike up soon is making people making last minute travelling arrangements? But the prices increase effects only Malaysia. So... how do you explain the incoming travelers from Singapore? No Mega Sales at this time also.

Hmm.. just have to dig deeper and who knows what will turn up later on. Waiting patiently. Staying on alert mode.

Even in hotel line , things are starting to move again. Nowadays, people do not really look for employees with experience any more. The targeted future employees would be those fresh from Hotel school and university graduates. The reasons: These young people are young and still can adapt to changes more quickly. They accept a much lower salary (would not say how much lower) and are motivated, eager to learn.

And.. of course...the age factor.. :) who would not like to be greeted by fresh and sweet looking young things at the registration counter. It's not easy for the undergraduates and also not easy for the over qualified staff to get jobs nowadays... unless you are willing to make a go for the higher post (to gain the experience) and willing to close one eye on the salary factor. The only way is always be on your toes.. learn new things that are happening in the market/industry and keep your list of contacts updated. Be alert k.. and do tell cat on how you are doing too.

Mirrors

'We all need mirrors to remind ourselves who we are." said Leonard Shelby - Memento-
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What do you see when you look in a mirror?
Do you see yourself as how others perceive of you? Or do you see all the things that you detested in your looks?

In life, the more a person is attractive, the more people will think he/she is good, intelligent and popular. That's reality. Women especially are more critical when it comes to the question of looks. Men look in a mirror and judged themselves better looking than they actually are. Women look in a mirror and saw..well, all sorts of things that they would like to change. Less of vanity and more because of insecurities. (That should be one of the reasons why 'bomohs' and surgeons are still much in demand).

What do I see in my mirror? A small person. with a puzzled look on her face.. Wonder what's she's thinking?